Ladies is it really more important to be part of the group than to be yourself?

I have over the last year, watched as a once happily married woman. Has because of being accepted into a new group of women, slowly destroyed her marriage to fit in with the other women.

I watched as she changed herself in how she dressed, to how she treated people. I have watched and listened to how when she first became part of the group, how she would talk with love about her husband and how lucky she felt to have such a good man.

I watched how the other women took that, and started to pick at her trying to get her to find fault with this guy. At first she resisted, than after the cold shoulder she started to bring up things that to me seems like she was making up to fit in with the bitching the other women did about their man.

I have watched as she started to spend less time doing things with her husband, and started to spend more time with this group of women. I have watched as she went from a someone that had a happy glow to them, to her looking tired and worn out.

Her husband had enough and they separated, I know he tried to save the marriage because I heard her talking to the girls about how he wanted them to get couples counseling. The girls were all against it, telling her things like he is the one with the problems and he needs to change and accept her for who she is and all that crap women tell each other.

Today she got served with papers from her husband's lawyer, she is a wreak. I am looking at the other women, and it seems to me like they are all smirking about her situation.

Ladies is it so much more important to you to fit in with other women, that you change yourself and make yourself unhappy. Than to just be yourself and be happy, outside of some group.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women are terrible to each other. ESPECIALLY if they are single and their friends are married. They will pick and prod until their friend caves and dumps their man. At which point the girls always seem to find:

    1) Being single isn't as great as they were led on to believe

    2) Being a female over the age of 30 it isn't as easy to find new men as they remember. The guys their age are dating the younger, hotter women.

    As us men have learned over the years, you can't trust 99% of women. But women, they sometimes forget just how evil members of their gender are.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Sometimes there's more to thee things than you see. Sometimes seeing your relationship in comparison to others makes you realize how bad it actually is.

    Sometimes you learn you don't need to cling to your relationship when there are other people there for.

    There's a lot more to this story that you don't know and the parts that you do know seem more as speculation. People are a lot different behind closed doors than what they put out to the world.

    • Very true, but I know a lot more of the intimate details of their marriage and this is a case of her changing to fit into this grope.

      You are a woman, you know how your social grouping is. Men can have different values and hang out together, you girls get together and you all have to follow the same line of thought or get kicked out of the group.

      I have seen a group turn on one member to many times when that one tried to go her own way, it is follow the group mind set or get kicked out.

    • 100% untrue. It's not one gender that mindlessly follows others. Some people, some don't. I highly doubt someone would give up their marriage to fit in with a new group of friends.

      I've never in my life seen a girl get kicked out of a group for having different values.

      You are making a highly incorrect generalisation.

  • Lol I say no, but then I am a female who avoids forming friendships with other women. I feel sad for the woman you write about, sometimes the poisonous influence of others is insidious.

  • How do you know she wasn't in an abusive or otherwise unhappy relationship and she found confidence with her new found friends? Maybe she was socially isolated before and now she feels stronger and more confident now that she has a social group.

    You tend to have a lot of negative generalizations toward women. I guess women supporting each other and being friends is threatening to you because it might mean that the husband doesn't have as much control.

    • Let me tell you a little more of their relationship.

      Her husband, does not have children. She had never been married and had 3 kids when they met, all have different dads and none are involved in their kids lives.

      She was a high school dropout, he encouraged her to get her GED. Than encouraged her, to go to collage. He did nothing but encourage and support this woman, he was not abusive or controlling.

      She starts working with a new group of women, and all of a sudden she starts to change.

  • That's just ONE woman out of billions.


What Guys Said 1