Would this be a rebound marriage?

The man I loved and dated for nearly three years broke up with me and began dating another woman last summer, it broke my heart & spirit but I managed to live and laugh again. I Stayed busy with my child, church and online school but I swear I can't stop loving him. I emailed him a couple days ago to finally tell him I understood why he ended the relationship & I didn't blame him anymore. I informed him that I still love him and think of him all the time. I also added that I didn't expect to hear back from him but that I wanted him to know how I felt. He responded today with something that was both numbing and shocking..

He responded with " its difficult for me to tell you this but I recently got married, I think about you too and the times we shared are precious to me, I'd like to stay in touch with you but in a way that is respectable to my wife & to my marriage".

I responded with " That does not surprise me and if you are happy now who can blame you?" Guys our relationship was not perfect but I really loved him & was faithful & very loving, we talked via phone every day but he never proposed to me after close to years . Hr added that the memories would be with him always. Ironically , this time last year we'd got back together & were saying I love you. I asked him not to send me a V Day card unless he really meant it. Last Valentine's Day he sent me a V Day card which read "my Love.."

I didn't get angry but when he asked me for a "congratulations" I did respond with Seriously?!? & admitted crying and asked him to consider those tears of joy. He then added that he was sorry, he didn't mean to upset me & that he should have told me. I didn't respond, just told him I was happy that he married the woman of his dreams just that it seemed sudden considering our relationship just ended & he'd only dated her a few months..i added that married men had asked me to be their friends and I would have to decline as I'd done with those married men.

This is really happening , I've been so heart broken I can't say this feels much different.

Did I handel this right? Should I have offered to remain friends with him? I just can't see how that would have helped me.His actions indicate he's moved on in a big way but why would he want to continue a friendship with me now?

I don't know how to shut off all the hope I'd had for us & love I have for him. Could it be possible that he discovers the marriage was a mistake?

Dang it! I'm such a Pisces (still believe love can conquer all)

Thanks for listening

P.s. This year I'd hoped to begin offering more advice than I'm asking. I'll try harder guys and girls.


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  • He started dating someone last summer so..8 months ago? It's not a rebound..a rebound would be if he moved on less than 3 months after you guys ended it. Cut contact with him and work on yourself. The longer you stay around him the harder it'll be for you to move on and you'll never find happiness. He's moved on with his life, you should do the same. Probably not what you'd like to hear but it's for the best.

    • Okay, in August he informed me he was seeing someone in ,October he told me it was serious, we're together basically 3 years he'd met my family & stayed here with my child & I. I was his first..everything at 39 years old & we were best friends..so actually he married a woman he d known 5 months after breaking up with me. Now he wishes to stay in contact with me..odd. maybe 8 months is no rebound..but 5 months & married seems hasty. Still I agree with you & I'll continue to move forward. Thanks