I been in a commitment relationship for 8 years. We both been are committed and discuss the future and both want the same thing. Although it was never in crazy detail, I feel we still have things we work on. My friend got married one year ago and recently his brothers got engage. Before this marriage is not on my mind but It seem like I'm getting bombarded by it. People keep asking why I'm not marriage. .its starting to get to me and think there's something wrong with me. I got interview for something and the older fellow said " you got a b/f, you seem like a nice girl, why didn't he propose? " recently my friend ask me again...I feel so awkward. ..now that his brother is in engaged...I'm starting to be bothered by it...we discuss things and both want to grow old together. ...I hate feeling this way. .. Why won't he and what's wrong with me? I don't think we are ready for it ... But Damn it's thrown in my face. ..how to handle this?
Most Helpful Guy
Oh I can write a book about this topic.
Essentially, it boils down to the fundamental dynamics of courtship - it's the men's role to do the chasing, it's the woman's role to convince him to settle down. Right now, he's with you and things are working well. There is a balance in his life where he is happy and you are happy.
But look at marriage from his perspective. It's expensive, the wedding is a lot of work and planning just for a glorified party, and a lot of men are complaining (rightfully or not) that they're getting whipped. Regardless of what you think, these are valid reasons for him to not want to disturb the balance you guys already have.
Consciously or not, there's a scale on his head with one side listing the pros and one side the cons of marriage. What you have to do is to figure out what these pros and cons are, and tip the scale to your favor.1