Is it common to feel very nervous during an engagement?

We've been dating since we were 16 and now both in college. Though we did once talked about forming a family day, it was actually specified as when, just something we wanted at some point in our life.

Then about 4 months ago, I get a surprise proposal (since he gave me a promise ring long ago, he knew my size) and well since I loved him I said yes but didn't really see that coming. Lately, I've been feeling nervous about it, gone out to parties with friends like never before and once in a while question if I'll be ready by the wedding date which will be on this December.

I think I'm getting cold feet. The news got spread so fast to all my friends and family and to be honest, I haven't gone to Facebook and don't feel like replying like before. I don't like what's wrong with me nor why I'm feeling this nervous as if a pale of cold water got thrown at me. I feel so young at 21 years old. Yet I love him.

He doesn't know all I'm writing at this moment. If he did, I can imagine it would hurt him and that's the least I want.

Or do most people feel that way after getting engaged in the first 4 months or so and then it goes away and you get suddenly excited?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Just make it a long engagement until you're ready. You don't HAVE to get married immediately after a proposal.

    If you feel like you're too young just wait. You've been together this long, it shouldn't matter if you give it another year to two, to make a solid decision.

    If you aren't sure, don't do it. Far too many people feel like they're pressured into marriage, and end up resenting getting married so young.

    Just tell your friends and family, you aren't going to get married just yet and there are still some things you need to figure out.

    He should under stand. If he doesn't then you dodged a bullet.

    • Yes, I'm going to talk to him during this week. Going to arrange what to say, in a way that doesn't hurt him. Will postpone it and hope he doesn't get hurt.

    • Show All
    • Thanks, will do that.

    • No problem. Use the extension of time to be HONEST with yourself. Don't push it in the back of your mind until he asks after a year or two, when you're going to plan the wedding. If you realize that he isn't the guy you want to marry, or that marriage isn't for you. Be HONEST!

      Good luck to you.

  • I used to think marriage was "IT" for me.. that's what I wanted.. now I'm like lol... whhhhoooooaaaahhhhhh...

    I don't think I want to be tied down. ...I want to be single. I want to call the shots. I want to find out what the fCK I really want and desire..

    I think I need about 10 years to figure all this stuff out lol. I don't think I want to be married anymore so.. IDK..

    • yeah 10 years for sure he isn't going to wait and it would be over. I guess at best, I can postpone it and hope he is understandable and doesn't get hurt. For sure if I had said no, for sure he would have walked away and I don't want that. I want to be with him but sometimes I feel as if I'm not ready yet.

    • That's understandable. He shouldn't have to wait for 10 years but that's just me... If YOU are ready before that.. go for it. I'm just speaking from personal experience. CRAZY how things change...