Never had a boyfriend, flipping out. Why?

All the guys who liked me weren't my type. All the guys that I liked weren't interested or didn't want to date.

I'm pretty much doubting myself because of the whole issue. Never had a boyfriend and I'm 20 years old. I can stress and be cross about it all I want, but I know I'm not getting anywhere.

Used to be shy and kind of afraid of guys/having a boyfriend, I'm not anymore. I'm thin, in everyday life I look very normal and currently I feel down because of the autumn weather. I go out sometimes, I have a few friends and I like making new friends.

I'd love some advice.

Guys - my guy friends and guys in general - always tell me I deserve a good guy, or that I'll find a guy who's better than them.. like why? Do they think I'm high maintenance or too good for them or whatever? Because I'm not and it's not up to them to decide that for me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As I tell others who are stressing out (which I think flipping out means) about not having a BF/GF yet, first step is to stop worrying about it. Like you, most of them are early 20s or even teens, and yet they feel it's all hopeless for you. The stressing out itself could be putting out all sorts of bad signals and only attract the guys you won't want to attract.

    I'm sure you are a nice looking woman, statistics support that. Go out as you've been meet new people, make new friends, chill. When you have a great life without feeling you need a boyfriend, you put out better signals, more likely to attract the kind of guys you want.

    • @update well if they are your friends and telling you this perhaps they know they are below your standards and are encourage you to find the guy who is good enough for you.

    • Thanks, that could be it. Otherwise I don't understand it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Depends on which type of guy you're looking for. Most, if not all, guys are looking for something temporary at this age so don't go into it expecting to get married or be with the guy for a decade. You'll be letting yourself down. You should be confident and talk to guys you have interest in.

  • I just turned 20 and I never have had a girlfriend - I can't find a girl that I actually like :'( - Its like there is no one out there. I am still shy around girls so usually I keep to myself... I guess you should just wait till you find the right person, and don't stress out that you don't have a boyfriend yet.

  • Play it cool, play it safe.

    Sooner or later everyone becomes married, only except those people who deliberately, fearfully avoid it.

    And maybe it's a blessing in disguise - just today I've read a story about a girl who lost her virginity against her will and after then recklessly rushed in random relationships - she's a wreck now - only a shell of her former self.

    Maybe it could be you.. in some alternate Universe or something, if you know what I mean..


What Girls Said 3

  • What do you mean by not your type?

    I think this is were most girls go wrong. They're waiting around for the perfect guy who just doesn't exist because nobody's perfect. These guys who maybe you did like, and were your 'type' wouldn't have been perfect either.

    I'm not saying you should go out with any old guy who asks you out - but having a boyfriend, or having had a boyfriend, is kind of an issue for you, clearly. My point is - maybe you should take a chance on one of these guys who are interested in you - even if they don't necessarily seem like your type off the bat.

    For some people, getting a boyfriend doesn't just happen. I know it doesn't for me, I don't know how other girls do it. But then I'm not too bothered about it. I'm willing to wait until I find a guy I really want to be with rather than just finding a boyfriend.

    • Thanks, helpful advice and it's nice to have someone understand that sometimes things like getting a boyfriend don't happen automatically. By 'not my type', I meant that I wasn't interested in those guys because I wasn't attracted to them or they didn't seem trustworthy or friendly enough

    • Show All
    • I've been on a few dates, with different guys. I've had guy friends too. One guy who I dated really liked me and enjoyed being with me, but I didn't feel attracted to him even after dating him for a few weeks.. he wasn't very spontaneous and was a bit too shallow for my liking.

      I don't know - it's like I want to get further but somehow it's not working out for me.

      Currently I like a guy, but he doesn't want to go out with me for whatever reason, I'm kind of sad about it.

    • Hmm yeah - it happens.

      I mean I get you- I've dated guys; but I've never liked them enough to be in a relationship with. Or the ones I did, didn't return those feelings. I guess the key is just ... putting yourself out there. The more you try stuff out, meet new people, date around, the more natural it will come to you and less of a big deal.

  • boys suck, your better off without em. okay maybe not forever, but most guys our age are immature and stupid.

  • This post is identical to my path in life. Except for the parts where you mention being thin and having a few friends.

    So what advice are you asking for exactly? You want advice on how to get a boyfriend or what?

    • Yes, how can I find someone who suits me and wants to be my boyfriend. And I'd like to know why things aren't working out for me yet because I'm old enough to have had a bf

    • Show All
    • Awwh, sweetie it's not your fault. It could just be really bad timing. Being 20 and never have had a boyfriend is better than being 20, having had a handful of relationships and being so damage/possessing a bitter, negative, jaded view on men and dating

    • Okay, thank you. Have things worked out for you yet or are you also still stuck in this phase of life with having bad luck with guys?