Are these feelings real or am I just being stupid??

My ex and I are getting a divorce. Its been over year now since we have lived together, and almost 2 years since I asked for a divorce. Currently I am in a new relationship. My boyfriend treats me better than any other guy I have even been with. Just let me say my husband was not the best at being at husband but he is an amazing dad and a great friend... He just sucked at being a lover and boyfriend. After 7 years I needed more. He is starting to talk to a girl we've known for a bit. She's younger than me. She's pretty but of course nothing compared to me. (lol hey I gotta be nice to myself here) I think I'm jealous. Not really jealous of him being with someone else more like... She gets the man he is now. I was the one who thought him that harsh lesson about love. at least its what he tells me. This girls will get someone I worked hard to get out of him. It seems unfair. All those years of training all gone to someone else. (I know training is the worst word but its true) Now I shouldn't feel this way. Like I said my boyfriend is amazing everyday is something new with him. He loves my kids and has added a 4 legged bff for my little one to our new home. I am happy. But why do I feel this way about my ex?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is natural to miss someone, even tho you know they are wrong for you. The important part is that you realize your new love is right for you. AND DO NOT SHARE YOUR MISSING YOUR EX WITH HIM!

    This will hurt him and cause him to think of the current situation.

    These feeling will go away in time. Why your thinking this way is because you see your Ex as you wanted him to be and are wondering why is was not like that with you. It is over, the past is the past.

    Enjoy the person that makes you happy now. Or you may let the best thing slip away from you.

    Good luck...

    • So I am not mentioning it to my boyfriend. I know it would be messed up. I think he feels it though :( I don't want to make him unhappy in anyway. He is such an amazing person and I am yet to introducing to someone who has not liked him which is very big. being as most people though my ex was an ass till they got to know him better. (he is a Marine if it helps any) I did have a good talk with my ex who though it a bit amusing but was honest enough to say it how he felt when I started dating my bf.

    • Good choice, let it stay silent. Those feeling will go away. But I would recommend that you limit your contact with the ex. you don't want him thinking he can get you back..

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What Guys Said 1

  • Women tend to attach a lot of importance in their relationship that's why erasing someone from your heart/mind takes time.


What Girls Said 2

  • 7 years is quite a chunk of time and to be honest I would personally have taken quite the time to fully get over, forget etc about the ex but I believe, as others mentioned, and I concur, it shall take a while.

    For now, you just know that you're moving on and should be happy.

    Whatever business that's going on with the ex, is like any other person in the world. Once you focus on your new life more, he will be history.

    I dated a guy who was divorced, not always the greatest, even if I got someone another girl 'worked' on, there comes other unhappy times I get to hear about the ex bla bla etc. so...on the contrary it can't be all peachy keen.

    the best for you is probably to go forward and just know those feelings will subsequently due to more focused efforts on your present & future

  • Well, you were with him for a long time. WHo says there aren't some residual feelings still there? Its like when two people who have been married for 30 years get divorced, they may still have some sort of feelings for the other person, not necessarily love. I also think its possible for someone to be jealous at someone even though they may not love them. I had a friends with benefits with a guy who I didn't love, then I saw him with another girl, and I did feel a twinge of jealousy. I think its human nature to be that way with someone you once loved , even if you aren't still with them. sounds like youir current boyfriend is really something special and I wouldn't let him go. Another possiblility is maybe you do still love your ex but he just couldn't be the man you wanted so you found this other guy. Maybe your current boyfriend is a rebound sort of relationship? Just speculation.

    • I don't think my current relationship is a rebound.. I did the rebound thing for a few months. My boyfriend is also and old friend of mine who decided he wanted a chance with me. He has always been that one person who has aways told me I needed someone better for me. I think he always wanted to be that person. I want to be everything he deserves because he gives me everything I deserve. I just don't want feelings for someone else. I'm hoping its just residual feelings for the ex and noting more.

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