Most Helpful Guy
While everyone's acting all serious today going out running for the first time since last new years day trying to make their new years resolution to lose weight seem on track, I'm eating apple pie ala mode for breakfast with a hang over looming. =D
lonely (girl I love is in another country)
Defeat. Or lost. Anxiety... reality.
All I know is that I am very afraid of my future. I know that I am goibg to lose evrythibg that I have. I have never had amny friends and I have incredibly high social anxiety. I am probably going back to school, and I hate myself because I don't know where my life is headed. I have never been on a date or wven been close to getting to know a girl. And I see wvwryone around me growing up and havibg these amazibg lives, being in relationships, travelling, gerting full time jobs and their life is on track. I guess I see life very negatively because I have nothing positive happen to me. I knoq that when I leave my parents house, whenever I leave, I will have nothing. I honestly have no reason for wanting to get up in the morning, or evwn to make it to the end of the week bevause I have no fun on the weekends. Hell my birthday was yesterday on new years eve and this year and the last 2 years I have spwnt my birthday alone or just with my parents. I just feel that no matyer how much success I have I will always be behind the curve. Lonely and livibg somewhere that I hate. I see no reason to continue my life because I see no future. No positive future anyway. Sorry if this brings you down or anything. I just feel like a completeand utter failure and I wil never be rid of that feeling unles I win a large amount of money in a lottary and I can make myself. Only when I feel successfull and thibgs start going right for me will I be able to het rid of tjis feeling of impending doom.
wouldn't surprise me if I remain single again throughout 2013
My word is hopeful
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