Girls, how I stop my girlfriend from giving me the frozen shoulder?

We live 4 hours away. We've been together for 2 years, one year in the same city, then one year in a LDR.

In November she started to become distant, and didn't wish me my birthday.

I waited for a few days and called her. She told me she had forgotten, that she was very sorry, she had been quite ill and she was depressed, so my anger disappeared and I sent her red roses, saying her sweet things.

I texted her the day of the delivery, asking how she was, if she had enjoyed it. It took her two days to answer, when she was on the train to get back to her parents.

I wished her a happy Xmas the 24th, and that I had finally gotten a good job opportunity (the same day) (which was always a problem, because we couldn't live together and get married (which I absolutely refused as long as I couldn't bring enough money). She made no comment about the job.

Then it was her birthday, and I made a small mistake. I wished her one day too early. I sincerely apologized after she made me notice it (I would have sworn it was the good day, but one can make a mistake).

So I did it again the next day, and didn't get any answer.

I waited the day after and I tried to call her, but she didn't take the call. I thought there were connection issues, until I received a short text. She was with her family, she couldn't talk. I apologized for disturbing, felt a bit sad but I wished her a happy new year by text the 1st.

And I haven't received an answer so far.

I can understand she is depressed, that the end of the year isn't the best period, but why would she want to avoid me ? I don't think I made any big mistake, I never disrespected her.

I love her but I am in a turmoil at the moment, because now that my professional future is getting better, it seems my relationship is going down the drain.

So what is happening, in your opinion ? Thanks.
So I sent her a message asking if she wanted to break up, after thinking about your recommendations.

Since then, I haven't gotten any reply, so I sent a mail to break up 5 minutes ago, without even knowing if it will be read.

I will never know why it happened, but I guess it's not important anymore.

Thanks for your help !


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What Girls Said 2

  • To it sounds like she has someone on the side? I have played this game before with an ex-boyfriend... But for her to stop replying to your texts and not taking your calls she is up to something! I know you love her but maybe it's time to move and find a woman who will treat you the way you treat her! Congrats on the new job!

    • I doubt she has someone on the side, in my opinion she is genuinely depressed. I have absolutely no idea why she won't talk to me.

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    • Thanks for your answer. There could be no reason, indeed.

      I will try to contact her this week-end, but before bringing up a break up I will try to see if something can be saved. If she doesn't answer, I don't see what else I could do except breaking up. I'm so sad these days :/

    • Cheer up if she isn't the one there are others out there! If yall do break up go out and find Miss Right Now and have fun!

  • Sounds like she's moved on from you and is quite possibly seeing someone else. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but w the info you provided it just makes the most sense. She's creating distance w you maybe because she's hoping that you will do the dirty deed and break up w her so she doesn't have to. I mean you gotta face the facts here.

    #1 She forgets your birthday.

    #2 You then send her flowers and then you text her to see if she enjoyed them and no response for 2 days.

    #3 You inform her of your new job and the possiblity of you two living together and she is unresponsive.

    #4 You call to wish her a Happy birthday and doesn't take your call til the day after.

    It's possible the distance is getting to her and she justs wants out and have the possibility of being w someone that she can see a lot more frequently.

    Talk to her cause only she knows for sure what is going on and good luck to you.

    • Thanks for your answer. What you wrote makes a lot of sense, even if I had not seen it like this yet.

      I will try to talk to her and I will see what's going on.

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