Boyfriend got a new job that requires him to see me less?

I have been dating this guy for over a year now (been a couple days over a year he asked me out on new years eve) and he went through a couple of different jobs in the last year. He just got a job working 5 to 6 days a week as a corporate limo driver. This job might require him to work on Saturdays as well as Monday-Friday. We talked about my concerns that he might forget about me he said he can't and he wouldn't but that seeing me less and working his ass off would help out pay off his debt he owes me $800 I lent him to get through his bills in the periods he didn't have a job. He wants me to be in his life and future and we have talked about living together. We think we are soul mates. The trouble is I'm having trouble adjusting to this new routine.

Usually I see him Wendsday nights, Friday nights and the whole weekend. now it'll be maybe Saturday and Sunday. He wants to still see me obviously but he's thinking of me in this process. he is pretty serious about me. it just feels lonely now and then since he started the new job this week, that I have all this free time and I don't know what to do with it. I go to the gym I hang out with my best friend I play the sims, me and my BFF even talked about taking a dance class, but I still miss him. Am I not used to it yet or what's wrong with me?

He told me I was being selfish about being upset about the hours when he said in the long run it'll pay off because we will live together and you will see me every day. I'm just scared. This is a new strange point in my relationship and I haven't gotten in a relationship this long since 2007. I want this to work, and I am willing to wait I guess and see him only once or twice a week.

It still just sucks.

What do I do to cope with the adjustment better? I work a 9-5 job he works 1pm - whenever they need him. So complete opposite shifts and I'm always up earlier than he is.

He is also in the military (army national guard) and I am not.

We have talked about deployment if it were to happen how I would deal with that if I can't deal with this. I feel I'd do whatever it takes I can't help but feel lonely though at the same time when I don't see him.
I also like to go out but going out isn't an option really anymore because I blow my money on booze and he can't drink because he is a chaffeur now. So now I don't know what to do. I feel bad going out without him with my friends like I'm "single". I'm not single I'm loyal but that's how I feel mentally like my boyfriend is never aorund much because he is going to be working a ton. Every month too he has drill which is really annoying because I have to go a week and a half without seeing him now.


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  • You've been together a year, so he's not going to forget about you.

    The thing about long term relationships is that they prepare you for lifelong commitment, and in that kind of commitment your partner is going to go through things that make it hard to spend time together or that you just have to work through.

    This is one of them.

    You need to let him be selfish for a bit while he pays off his debt. If he can work like this for a bit, he can really save some money. It would be really good for him.

    You'll just have to adjust. Spend the night some nights if you can, or he can stay with you. You can find small ways of being together.

    • hes not being at all selfish, he HAS to work...

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    • Also I can't stay at his house his grandmother complains and says "This isn't a hotel" I haven't stayed there for months now. he usually stays at my house on the weekend before.

      He just told me he might have to work this weekend both Saturday and Sunday. I really don't want this to break us up becasue I feel like I don't even have a boyfriend anymore...

    • The best thing you can do is be there for him and be a place for him to unwind. This isn't permanent. I think you need to relax a bit and be more supportive. I understand you want to see him and I understand that you don't get to see him as often as you would like but for now, the both of you need to compromise.

      You need to compromise and realize you won't see him as often as you would like, and he could agree to some days where he comes and stays with you. Schedule and figure it out.

  • He said he loves you this is your issue don't let it ruin your relationship with him! He has to work for a living and pay bills and if he does get deployed you're gonna have to deal with because he has to go! My boyfriend is a roughneck he works 2 weeks on 2 weeks off and the 2 weeks he is gone it is hard but when he is home it out weights him being gone! The first time we dated before he was a roughneck he was a stripper and that was hard because I couldn't go see him strip because I was under 18! But you have to trust he is doing this to better his self! Go out with your friends as long as he doesn't mind and try to meet him somewhere on his lunch break just to spend time together! But if you love him you have to work through your issue! Maybe try to move in together sooner rather than later and that will help a lot!


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