How do I get over him?

I am 21 and have no idea what to do.

I have only ever had one boyfriend and we have lived together for over a year now.

He came home yesterday and just nonchalantly announced he was done with me and did not want to be together anymore. Literally two days before we were talking about buy a new house together, getting married and having kids.

I really tried to talk to him about it but his answers were lame.

What happened?

-I'm not happy anymore

What's wrong with me?

-You're too strong and independent. (seriously)

I asked him what the hell was wrong with being strong and independent ad he said nothing. It just wasn't for him.

he had absolutely no good reason for not wanting to be with me. I feel so betrayed and broken.

Does anyone have any thoughts on why he just decided to leave me.


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13

Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel for you. My ex did the same to me after 4 1/2 year (you got a better explanation than me). It is the worst feeling. I never got an explanation but evryones interpretation (and I know for a fact it wasn't because of someone else) is that maybe he is in a place in his life where he isn't happy with his life or himself and that is the one thing he can change. The masculinity thing may also be a part of it because might be lacking the feeling of being needed. Just know that if you were just being you it isn't your fault and take comfort in the fact that he will probably regret that decision his whole life now. Specially given how quick the decision was made in the end.Things will get better down the track though.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'd say he is interested in someone else (sorry if that seems like a harsh revelation) but it explains the bad excuses. If you normally felt differently about something usually it'd come out sooner or there would be discussion on trying to overcome it. It doesn't really just come out of nowhere and they just repetitively shoot down your reasoning with no genuine reason. I'd have said it could be commitment fear/cold feet... but I feel like that's more of a thing that would result in a 'I love you, but we should slow down...' sort of conversation. Even if it was a relationship ending thing in their eyes you'd think they'd be somewhat rational about it. I'd say if you need closure confront him about what exactly it is and be blunt, tell him not to be vague and feed you bullsh*t. Or you can accept it and realize there are other people out there, who could be more suited to you and won't be such d***wads for no reason.

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  • It's about gender roles, your boyfriend feels emasculated because you're either taking charge of the relationship or have become too independent and it leaves him no space to be the masculine one. Men has big ego you see.. this has most likely be in his mind for quite some time now.

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  • Something might have happened during the two-day period/ or the day he wants to break up.

    Just confront that you both should consider this matter seriously and give each other time and space to think about it. This is just a spur of the moment decision. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

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