What to say to girl being distant?

So I've known this girl for about 4 months and have been dating for a few weeks now. We've became really close especially in the last month and I've really started to like her. Over the past 5 days or so she's became kinda quiet and a little distant and I'd like to bring it up to her but not sure about how to bring it up without upsetting her. Any advice ladies?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't bring it up to her. Girls don't like being called on being distant. Your best bet is to avoid over-contacting her. Let her put in some of the effort if she's interested. Don't call her out on it, but don't initiate calls/texts/dates more than she is. You can't generate attraction in a girl faster than she wants it to go. The more you push, the more she'll push away. That's a mistake most guys make. Don't be THAT guy. If she's into you, she'll come back soon enough. I know you want her badly, but that usually ends up being the death knell of the dating experience, when the guy starts getting needy and she's just not willing to put in the effort and is actively turned off by your behavior. Ignore her for a few days and don't talk to her at all. Go hang out with your buddies and enjoy yourself.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She probably needs space. The stereotype is that girls want all the connection and guys want space, but that's not always true. Sometimes, if you've been spending a lot of time together, she needs a breather and some time to miss you.

    Be nice to her, but don't try to push it into going anywhere. Maybe just a few texts to say hi how's it going or whatever and don't actively try to draw out the convo too much.

    If she's a smart girl, then she'll appreciate you respecting her need to do her own thing now and then.

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  • you just need to live your life and maybe she will wake up and realize what she's missing out on..

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not a lady but the key to this is bringing it up in a manner that doesn't offend her or make her defensive.

    I find the best way to approach things with any person is to first establish that you care about them. Tell her how much you like/love her and care about her. Tell her how great it is being with her and how amazing she is and makes you feel. Then you say something along the lines, "I've been concerned..." and you make it so she here's you saying essentially I'm concerned that something is bothering you or you're upset about something. Then you give your reasons.

    Make sure she knows that your questions come from a place of love and concern and that you're asking because you care about her and not that you feel like she is doing anything wrong... If she gets defensive you reiterate your concern and emphasize that you aren't mad just worried and want to be able to talk to her about things and hopefully help out

    good luck!

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  • GOODBYE! You don't talk about it...you disappear dude! Wrong! We've not become really close...you've become close...she's noticed this about you...and now she's backing away slowly. You are clearly more interested than she is...this is never good.

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