How do people justify saying that nice guys finish last?

This phrase seems completely off to me.

If you say that nice guys finish last in reference to yourself then you almost certainly are not a nice guy. You are neurotic.

I had a girl tweet this the evening after I she broke down crying because I wasn't interested in her.

I had never shown any interest.

She's not nice. She's an absolute bitch.

It doesn't make sense at all.

Do people actually dilute themselves into thinking that being nice causes them to miss out on relationships?


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What Girls Said 4

  • It's easier for them to justify getting rejected in their head if the problem isn't on them. "I was just too nice for her, she only dates jerks because she's crazy." or "I was just too successful and confident for him, he couldn't handle me." ETC.

    Not saying that the better alternative is to always blame yourself, but people need to learn to blame no one! Not every match is going to be a match made in heaven. If you notice that you get rejected by the vast majority (or the entire majority) of everyone you've ever liked, then maybe evaluate that the problem is you. But making such a blanket statement about the world based on a few rejections is silly. They're simply trying to protect their egos.

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  • Its one of the most asked and annoying questions on here "why do nice guys finish last". Its like they are trying to portray themselves as a poor innocent victim and everyone else as an a**hole regardless of whether they are right or wrong. Its like they have deluded themselves about a certain situation but its someone else's fault.

    I find it extremely disrespectful to guys & girls who are genuinely nice but don't sit around saying poor me. There are plenty of good guys/girls in relationships and if "nice guys finish last" then what does it say about their s.o.

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  • No one wants to own up to their faults, weaknesses and failures

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  • Yes, people do. I'm glad to hear a guy testifying that it goes both ways, too. There are definitely girls who misuse this concept of being nice when a) they aren't or b) they mostly are, but they are expecting a payback that is unequal to their niceness.

    I always thought that saying came from the corporate world and somehow just recently got adopted into relationships.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Guys who view their primary characteristic as 'being nice' tend to finish close to last.

    Yes, they're neurotic. They tend to be people who are somewhat nice, but have also been raised to be passive aggressive, hide their sexuality, unrealistically undemanding, etc. They were basically told to always be sweet and nice and that people would appreciate them. It doesn't work, and so they try - harder - and occasionally rant and explode because they're being used (according to how they were taught the world was supposed to work).

    Starting to say 'nice guys finish last' is a starting point to them moving to a better state. Unfortunately a lot then just go to 'so I'll be a jerk'. Which sort of 'works' better.

    Unfortunately there is very little modelling of how to be a good, decent but strong person, and we don't even tell kids to behave that way.

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  • Different people use different word with a different meaning at times .

    Maybe she thought that she was nice thought that she was nice to you and somehow was worthy of more of your affection .

    To be honest we only need to be "nice" to our self and that way we can chose to be what others are worthy of as to be to them , otherwise by forcing our self's into a fake "nice" mast for someone we will always finish last for our self's ,

    being nice is yet an other illusion that people create to feel righteous about their self proclaimed feeling of whatever .

    Anyway that's some of my thoughts on this .

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  • I think the statement makes more sense in the business world than the dating world.

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  • It comes from a summary on genetics that showed way long ago nice guys would always die before the d***'s would. Nowadays though insecure or self important a**holes say it to feel better about themselves, it's pathetic.

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  • Ithink the term more comes from old ages where if you were in battle and let tjem live they'll turn on you and kill you when your back is turned

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  • nice guy finish last

    - I don't wanna live on this planet anymore

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  • That statement came from nowhere, I guess. lol

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