Boyfriend spends a lot of money

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I do love him, but I have a problem with his money handling sometimes.

He has a job that pays well ( I have been going to school lately and am a casual worker).

In the two years he has been making payments on a brand new car, a new laptop, and a new 60" TV. He has also bought a brand new 3DS.

I do not ask for gifts, and we go out for a dinner once every couple months. He does cook dinners regularly, but I drive over to his place most of the time, so I find this to be a fair trade (gas money and all).

For V-Day he said that we will get each other gifts that are under $20. I have no problem with this, but then he turns around and says, 'The dinner I am taking you out to to my present to you actually, because I am spending more'. I was just kind of taken back by his comment as I sit surrounded by all these nice things he has.

I don't want to seem like a brat, but I kind of feel like one when I think about it.

Does anyone have experience or advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Can I have your boyfriends address? I would like to overnight him his trophy for doucebag of the year award. Let me tell you, there was a lot of contestants but he won with flying colors. He also beat out people for cheap ass of the year, dumb ass of the year and he was nominated for worst boy friend of the year but loss out to Chris Brown.

    Alright, so he's not as bad as girl friend beater but he's still pretty sucky. Even if he didn't have all these nice things around him it would still be pretty messed up what he is doing but because he does have these expensive things it's that much more disgusting. You're his girl friend, and you've been his girl friend from two years...what he is saying when he buys all this stuff and doesn't spend money on you is that he cares about himself more than he does you. I real man would buy less stuff or lesser versions of things he wants (he could have gotten 50inch TV instead and brought you a nice necklace for V-DAY).

    He's jerk and I think you should put your foot down. You deserve better than that, all girls do...in fact all people do. If you were a guy, I'd tell you the same thing.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe he's just trying to spend as much for himself right now because if you ever get married all his finances will be yours. Or he's just greedy or feels like he earned the money and worked hard for it so he wants to use it just for him, if you are not in desperate need of cash though and he's not asking you to pay any more money on him than he spends on you then I would just leave it be because he is being fair about it.

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  • F*** all your other answers you get. this guy is a prick and he is dumb. He makes good money? I make OK money yet paid CASH for my 52 inch smart tv, new laptop and my car I got had 35 thousand miles on it and got that for cash too. He seems like a cheapo, dumbass AND a jerk.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Are you sure that's what's really bothering you, or is it the fact that he's putting a dollar sign on your head?

    I suggest you tell him that his money grubbing thing upsets you and makes you feel like you're not worth it. I can't tell you how to go about this conversation, in fear of saying something wrong...

    But I will say, don't:

    - Act like he OWES it to you

    - Compare his personal spending to his spending on you

    Do try to mention that you feel like his attempt to be so explicitly frugal with you makes you feel like you're not important enough to be treated special on Valentine's Day.

    Basically, when you have this conversation, if you don't want to offend him and you'd rather he'd feel guilty (cause that's the only way it would work without it blowing up in your face), make it about YOU, not him. Do not attack him. Don't say words like "you never". Say things like "I feel". Truuuuust me on that point.

    However, I do view expenses with my boyfriend in a similar manner as you, as I can note by the way you speak. I almost feel a bit bratty myself telling you how to do this. But I get it. A woman wants to feel special. Been there before. Not in your situation, but I've had feelings that relate.

    I wish you luck! P.S. If you want more of this kind of info, I suggest you read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

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  • Maybe he's got a surprise in mind or maybe he didn't want to pressure you by getting you something super expensive. When people buy me things I always feel pressured to spend as much if not more than the amount they spent on my present.

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