Two dominate families....

I hope at least someone gets this as it's probably an odd concept but I want to ask it anyway.

Say there are two families and a girl from one family and a boy from the other start to date and end up getting married.

Now comes the decision of whose family do they spend the holidays with.

In the girl's family, all people who marry into it spend the holidays with the girl's family no matter what. If a man marries a woman in that family, he will spend the holidays with the wife's side.

However, in the boy's family it's all the same. No matter which gender marries into it, they spend the holidays with his family as opposed to their own.

So we have two dominate families in the sense that they take away members of other families so to speak and add them to their own.

What do the now spouses do? Do they go to the husband's family or the wife's?

I'm curious as to what the results will be.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • IF family is important to you & you feel for some reason that you must appease them to keep peace, then you split the holidays. One year Thanksgiving with his family & Xmas by your family.

    If geographically possible stop in at both.



    I think it's very unreasonable of either family to expect you to be with them & deprive the other a visit to his/her family.

    You & your husband are now a family, even if it is just the 2 of you. Maybe you want to have your own tradition. Dinner at your home with just the 2 of you & maybe a visit to one or the others family.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Split the holidays between families or go to which ever family lives closer. Growing up I mainly went to my grandmothers house on my fathers side for the holidays as did his brother and sisters and their spouses and children. My mother's side of the family everyone tend to hang out with my other grandmother. My father's grandmother is only an hour away though and my mother's family is like 4 hours away.

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  • why not have both families over at the same time

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What Girls Said 5

  • Depending on how far you live from both families, split your time as efficiently as possible.

    If you live close to one and far from the other, you'll probably be with that family more often. So at least one trip should be made per year to spend a major holiday with the family that lives further away.

    If you live far from both, alternate which holidays you spend with which family each year.

    If you live close to both, it shouldn't matter. My parents grew up in the same town so we're able to spend one day with each set of grandparents back to back.

    There should be no gender bias, though. It doesn't matter if it's the girl's family or the guy's family. That's just absurd.

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  • Neither, they spend the holidays at their own house and whoever wants to call to them can. My fiance and I have had to do this, both our families become extremely family orientated around the holidays but as far as we are concerned they must show respect for our relationship. We are a family, we have our own house, they are more than welcome to spend the holidays with us.

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  • I would say whoever lives closer probably gets priority. If they both live the same town then maybe Thanksgiving at one Christmas at the other and switch every year. If both are far away and you must fly switch between which family at Christmas (or other holiday) or if travel is to expensive, start your own tradition of holidays at your own home.

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  • If they live not far away they can do as my family always did: We did one family before the actual holiday and the other on the actual holiday. If they lived far away you could do one holiday at one and the other at the other. (Thanksgiving with his, Christmas with her's) and then rotate year to year. So every other will be together.

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  • You split the holidays and share just like you should in any relationship. For the first year the guy's family can have Labor Day, MLK Day, thanksgiving, and New Years while the girl gets Memorial Day, Presidents' Day, and Christmas. Then you switch off the next year. Or, you could just split the minor holidays and spend Christmas and Thanksgiving together (invite people over to your house)

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