So this Is an email exchange I had with a woman on pof that abruptly ended for some reason. In your opinion (besides her meeting someone else (which I doubt)) did I say something wrong?
Hey I see you like hole in the wall bars, well you definitly picked the right place to live then! So what are some of your favorite reads?
Lol I sure did! Ugh right now just school books. I wish I had time for a care free read :)
Lol I hear ya! I did my time with the whole school thing :( So what school do you go to? Also what kind of degree are you going for?
I'm going now for my BA in medical administration ... Long run looking to specialize in sonography :) what do you do for school? I hate it an love it all at the same time lol
I did computer networking. So boring and oh so mundane lol :( Id so go back into the marines if they weren't downsizing the crap out of it. But as of now I work for a company called scs, fixing registers and servers at places like panera bread, 99pub, chilis and dennys. Its not glamorous but it definitely pays the bills. I'm debating on whether or not to join the fire service full time instead of just volunteering which is what I do now. So what are some of your favorite hole in the wall bars? Cute pic of you in your scrubs by the way ;).
End of correspondence.
- YESVote A
- NOVote B
Most Helpful Girl
Too interview-ish. You ask a question, she gives an answer, you ask a question on another topic, etc. Though you do a good job of coming off as easy going. Maybe a little emoticon-happy, though. The trick is to take something from one of her answers and go from that. You, instead, seem to be picking up things from her profile for your questions. That's great for a first question, but that's it. "Pick up and run." That's your mantra in online dating. Pick up something from their most recent response and run with it.
For example: In her first response, she mentions reading for school and wishing she had time to read for pleasure. You did alright by asking about what she's studying since she alluded to it, so that was okay. But you should have left off the part about what kind of degree she was going after. That makes it seem more like an interview than a conversation. Ask it sometime later. Just for demonstration purposes, I'll point out the other thing you could have picked up and run with was that she alluded to the fact that she enjoys reading for pleasure.
In her second response, I think the best thing you could have picked up and run with would be about her desire to specialize in sonography. Why that? Sonograms for what? Pregnant women? The alternative to asking a question about whatever you're picking up and running with would be to give a personal anecdote. So if you ask and she says she wants to do 3D sonograms for pregnant women, instead of asking another question about it you could tell her about how cool the 3D ultrasound that your sister got when she was pregnant with your nephew was.
Actually, it's important to find ways to throw in anecdotes and not just questions. That helps her get to know you and gives her an opportunity to pick up and run from your responses. Try to always throw in a question though just to kind of help her feel the need to respond. It doesn't have to be a big getting-to-know-you question. It can just be as simple as stating something you think and following it up with "you know?" Like... "Professors always seem to think their class is the only one you have homework to do for, ya know?"
Best of luck.0