Is he being fake? How can someone be SO optimistic ALL the time?

How do I know if this guy is being fake... or if he's really just ALWAYS that positive? I mean, he never has ANYTHING bad to say. Too much homework, w/e it'll get done. He never complains, he's always happy. I feel like I am an awful person because I actually have opinions on things. He doesn't ever disagree with me. He just smiles and says it is what it is. What do I make of this guy?

Sometimes it's almost odd how happy he is... I shouldn't judge, but even when things don't go right he's still happy. He failed a test and doesn't seem to think anything of it. He doesn't even seem that concerned. He's just like oh well I'll study harder next time. Idk... we almost have nothing to talk about because he's always saying "aw, oh well, things will improve." How do I know if he's being fake or genuine? Are guys ever fake?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So you only feel like you have something in common with him if you are complaining to him and nagging? That's why he's giving you encouragement and not making a big deal out of your issues. He doesn't want to be buried in your negativity. A lot of guys are easy going. Bad things happen sometimes, and we pick ourselves up and fight through that sh*t. It's not that we don't care, it's just that you can't change what already happened, you can only try harder or in a different way the next time. Sitting around stewing and bitching doesn't solve anything. Try talking to him about some more positive topics, try doing some things together and having fun.

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    • Hm I guess I didn't really phrase the question right. I'm not really a negative person, but I do have opinions. He doesn't seem to have opinions. I'm not sure if I asked this right... it just doesn't seem like he's genuine with what he says.

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    • Well, one time he told me he didn't get my sarcasm and couldn't tell when I was kidding... kind asked me not to be sarcastic. also said he'd never be able to say I miss you because his last girlfriend and him used it too much. also told me I should be cleaning the dishes if he's going to cook (mind you, this is week 4 of dating). I got upset from all of that... he came to my school every day for a week. I didn't nag him, he nagged me. I complained about losing weight a lot. idk, yeah, I mean, nothing big.

    • cont'd: One time I jokingly guilt tripped him for having to leave and he got REALLY mad. instead of just hugging me he was like I'm out of here. I was kidding too! yet again, probably didn't realize I was totally kidding. I'm not that mean. I just wanted him to come pounce on me and then run out of the room! I understood he had to go!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Isn't better to be optimistic than depressed and upset?

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    • Oh I completely agree! Just something seems off. I can never tell if he's being sincere or just talking to talk

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    • I wish I knew.. If I did I'd tell you. I usually pull away or push people away when they get too close.. It's a terrible trait lol

    • Oh I am the same, definitely. This guy has moved SO fast and I am always trying to catch up... yet he is entirely emotionally closed. He bought me jewelery the 2nd week we were dating (knew me for like 3-4 weeks)! and a stuffed animal for me after the 1st week of knowing me! Yet, emotionally, he will not open up.

  • Marry him. My wife is that way and believe me, it's far better than the opposite.

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    • Hm yeah, but he can't verbalize anything he's feeling! There's no substance to our conversations. They're very superficial.

    • Hmmm...not sure what that's about.

  • Some guys are fake like that, it can happen, but I've met some other guys who are genuinely like that. I know a guy who is always smiling, laughing and joking. The guy could probably make you laugh at a funeral. (I know I'd want him to give MY eulogy.) Still, point is, it can go either way, but I don't think there are any good ways to test him to see if he's being genuine, without being a total cunt about it.

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    • haha true, very true. Yeah, idk, something just seems odd about how optimistic he is. Idk, maybe not. Like his last girlfriend cheated on him and he's like oh well... I failed a test... oh well. My food sucks, oh well. idk. I guess I can't really explain it. I wish he'd have an opinion on something. Maybe it's just that he ALWAYS agrees with me.

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    • Duuuude. That's not right. Yeah he's gotta be either faking it, or totally repressed. The latter is the worst case scenario too, because it could potentially explode later.

    • oh I think he's totally the scary "I'm going to lash out like a crazy person" type. He's the kind of person who almost over thinks my issues or tries to get me to talk about them more so that he can be optimistic... he's like trying to hard to solve my problems that don't exist? He's SUPER optimistic ALL the time and then in bed he's this crazy controlling animal. Like, some bossyness is fun, but woah, he gets REALLY controlling. If I "play" try to get away he doesn't let me win.

What Girls Said 1

  • I have met someone like this, then I found out they were on medication haha.

    Some people are like this though. They just tend to be happy.

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    • I wouldn't be surprised if he was. He's got some odd tendencies. He's SUPER nice on the outside and then he likes to be REALLY controlling in bed. Like, sometimes he scares me.

    • Yeahhhhhhhhh, he might be crazy haha

      But if you tell him something's scaring you, how does he react? That basically shows whether you can trust him or not.

    • He says everything should be natural b/t us and if it's not then that's that and we should end it... He also hates talking about anything emotional. What was wrong with the guy you dated? Omgsh, one time when he was kinda upset with me he said me down, sat on my feet and was like less than 2 ft from my face saying we needed to talk. Talk about intimidating! We'd only dated for 4 weeks! and he said he didn't like that I was sarcastic/didn't get my humor, didn't believe in honeymoon phases etc.

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