Exes new girlfriend doesn't like me

I dated my ex in high school and had a bit of a messy break up, however after not talking for a year we started to hang out as friends occassionally. However my exes new girlfriend is uncomfortable with us hanging out one on one (I don't really want to catch up with her id rather just hang out with my ex and catch up as friends) I called my ex to wish him a happy birthday late on his birthday and she freaked out at him about it he said so I know she doesn't like me

What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • regardless if you know you are not a threat or not you are to her. Particularly if you don't want to hang out with the ex and him. In her shoes she probably doesn't know you well enough and considering that you are an ex that means that even more than just the random girl you may appear threatening because obviously at sometime her boyfriend found you attractive enough to date.

    I think you should try and befriend the new girlfriend. Prove to her that you are not a threat and that your relationship with her boyfriend is strictly platonic. you have to become a non threat in her eyes and the only possible way that will happen is through time, patience and familiarity.

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    • He was my first love so I care a lot about him still. I don't really want to hang out with them both and share his attention even if I don't think I'd date him again

    • I understand and it's tough because you haven't necessarily done anything to make yourself untrustworthy but the fact is. You two were in love, he was attracted to you and thus you are a threat. By befriending his girlfriend you can show the girl who you are as a person (now as a female former lover interest) and hopefully make her more at ease having the two of you hanging. Fact is you're going to have to share his attention at least initially cause it's not fair to force the dude to make a choice

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What Guys Said 1

  • She's being unreasonable, but at the same time you should not try to knowingly do things that might upset her and call them being friendly.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Put yourself in her shoes. Let's say your boyfriend is meeting up with a girl he used to date in High School (it could have been their first love/romance) A lot of people tend to reconnect with their exes in an attempt to rekindle that love connection. She feels insecure that you might be trying to steal him back. It's not that she doesn't like you as a person, but that she finds you to be a threat to her relationship. I understand meeting up with old friends, but exes are ex'd out of your life for a reason. It's okay to say hi and be polite to your ex, but trying to have a friendship with them can lead to something more that may or may not have been intentional. I think you should ask yourself if the friendship with your ex is really worth the possibility that you can be labelled a homewrecker because of it. Maybe, if he wasn't in a relationship, it'd be less complicated, but as of now, his girlfriend sees you as a threat and that's not fair to anyone; it seems as though there is no "win" situation for anyone, sorry. Good luck.

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    • So I'm just supposed to give up a long time friend?

    • You got your best answer here. And yes, sometimes we give up long term friends. That is apart of the heartbreak... you walk away for good.

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