How can a 21-year-old woman who still lives at home deal with an intrusive family? Please see details.

I'm quite introverted, but want to start dating. The problem is that most guys my age aren't what I'm looking for... so I've recently tried my hand at the game of online dating. I'm going to school in Wisconsin and have met 2 guys who live near my hometown in Illinois. I'm hoping to get to know them, and maybe start dating over the summer.

The only problem... I added one one Facebook recently. 5 minutes later, my controlling and nosey 18-year-old sister logged on and started playing 20 questions with me about my new "friend." If I can't deal with her, I know she'll be telling my mom... and I'll have to deal with both of them.

I am a full-time student, and taking classes over the summer, so getting/keeping a job and moving out would be difficult. I need to find a way to deal with them while I'm at home.

What should I say/do to keep them out of my hair and let me live my own life and meet people the way that's convenient for me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think the hiding from them would help.. I think you should tell them what you want from life .. know what they expect from you and why do they do that ?

    If your parents turn to supportive.. they could be a huge positive influence in your life.. so before you try to hide from them.. ( to which I don't necessarily blame you ) I think you should talk to them.. like in an adult manner... don't speak to them as your parents but speak to them as an adult to adult.. tell them that you want them as a support and a loving family... as a source of advice but not as a sort of regret machine..

    This talk would get them thinking.. they will start thinking you are changing now and they need to have a new strategy... I am saying this because it is good to salvage something good from your parents before you write them off completely... it would give you confidence in your future and knowing you have a back to rely on.

    my two cents

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What Guys Said 1

  • Call a family meeting and explain to them that you're an adult, you expect a reasonable level of privacy, and you're not going to tolerate not having it. They can either treat you with respect, or they can lose the privilege of being involved in your life at all.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well you've been going away to school for quite a while now, living somewhat independently. So, your parents should already see you as somewhat of an adult (at least mine did). My advice is just to start dating them, and act like you don't care what your family thinks. Don't keep it a secret from them, but make it clear that you're an adult and it's your life.

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    • This is actually my first semester away. I was going to a community college back home for my first 2 1/2 years.

  • Tell them in a RESPECTFUL Way that you are a adult and want to be treates as such I had to do this with my mother when I had my son and left home she didn't want me to take him with me but I said to her mom I love you but I need to be a adult and stand on on my own two feet here she was upset at frist but then got used to it and saw I wasn't making such bad judgements after all

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  • Make a separate Facebook account. One account can have your family on it. On the other account, just add all your friends, but leave off the annoying or nosy people. Lots of people do this for work and other things that require dealing with issues like this.

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