My boyfriend kutts. I'm a guy. He says I'm the cause of his pain. What do I do?

So me and my boyfriend argue a little.not much. He writes songs.his friend found his songs and said I was the cause of his pain .I talked to him about it he said he doesn't know why but I am.he started kutting again and then he got me back to my addiction. I'm an empath I can read his emotions his pain and sometimes we his thoughts. So old. I've been super depressed cause I'm the reason I just wanna help him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know how long ago this was sent, but if it has been a while I really hope it all worked out in the end.
    It sounds to me like he is saying you are the cause for him cutting himself. He is putting blame on you saying it's all your fault that I cut this way, when really it's all his actions and should be taking responsibility for himself. When someone is depressed however (which it sounds like he is), they give off at the person closest to them and make them feel unworthy - giving off false accusations that you didn't listen to their needs or that you are ruining their life. He needs professional help, someone who can better deal with this kind of situation. You have a good heart wanting to help him and being there for him but the next thing he'll say if you stay there for too long is "don't leave or I will kill myself." He will be too dependent on you, make you feel guilty, give you abuse.
    What you can encourage him to do is exercise, get out the house more often, get plenty of sleep, & socialise. Other than that, there are drugs provided by the doctor that will help lift his mood or a therapist to be seen to.
    But no, definitely do not handle this all on your own. It's too much for a 17 year old and especially draining for an empath.
    Take care.

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    • it ended pretty badly honestly. he lied to me a lot and we broke up. later i found out im bi polar have ptsd see and hear things that aren't there and a lot of things. anyways we both had lots of problems. but i know in my heart he's ok and doing well he got help. I don't know how i know i just do. maybe i just say this to keep myself healthy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Seems like you both have a bad influence on each other. He harms himself, you're back to your addiction, because of the other one. He says you're the reason for his pain, but doesn't know why. To me that doesn't make a lot of sense. Someone hurts you because they can and you let them. So either you hurt him, or he loves you and is afraid of losing you in that way that he can't deal with it. Talk about it again, because this needs to be resolved.

    Why did you get back to your addiction?

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    • I got back to my addiction cause if someone cutts then I see it my addiction starts acting up.so if I get depressed I suffer withdrawal. And sometimes I can't resist.I'm finally fighting my addiction again and trying to quit.the reason I started is cause he cutt I saw it and felt his pain.so it got me started

What Guys Said 1

  • Having dated a cutter I can tell you that you should make it a deal breaker to date anyone who cuts. He is harming himself to strike at your emotions knowing it'll damage you emotionally. He needs professional help so you need to tell him to get help or that you two are no more.

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