How to develop my own personality that girls will like?

It's one of my biggest problems with girls, I'm 21, and I'm planning to at least make out with and/or cuddle with a girl before or on my birthday (March 22nd), the first goal was to lose my virginity but I figured that was setting my sights wayyyy too high too soon and it would never happen since I've been single for 7 years now.

I've been losing weight, about 40 pounds, starting lifting weights only, rarely cardio or ab stuff, went from XXXL to XXL shirts now after a year of on and off working out.

I started drinking as soon as I turned 21, go to the couple bars we have like a mile from our university, but I usually just stand next to my roommate and his friends and drink and silence from people I don't know. I tried to dance with this girl 10 months back when I went to the club for the first time, but her and her friends turned around and looked at me in disgust so ever since then I just avoided girls at bars and clubs.

I get pissed off when most of the guys on campus or at the bars don't even have to try to chase girls when in all honesty, I feel like we are both like 4 out of 10's, sometimes they're even less, yet girls chase them. Apparently, I just don't know the right things to say or anything to say at all, and my history with girls show that.

I recently realized that I have no personality. I just do what everyone else is doing around me to fit in. Like I don't have anything to talk about other than crap no one talks about to normal people like anime, the internet and memes. I forced myself into more stuff people like like The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Doctor Who, stuff like that..

I tried to construct myself to be a perfect match for certain girls before, like I asked my friend 3 years ago if she wanted to go to the movies and she suggested Twilight New Moon, so before that weekend, I researched it, watched the movie before it, but she ended up seeing me as a friend, she wanted a guy that looked like Jacob or whatever. Recently she got into her first relationship ever, guy was probably 100 pounds larger than me.

Same thing with this girl I liked for like 2 years before I asked her out this past October. She ate, slept, and breathed Green Day so I tried to listen to every song they ever had, read all the lyrics, but I couldn't do it, just don't like Green Day. The most awkward date ever, we didn't talk to each other for a 15 minute car ride back to campus from the mall and movies because we talked about everything we could have talked about ever. She eventually stopped replying to my messages from the phone and Facebook.

About a couple weeks ago, this girl in my league I think, I asked her out, I learned about D&D and Doctor Who, but something came up when it came time for our date, then her and her friends pretty much stopped talking to me around campus. I'm just doing something wrong..

I know it sounds so nerdy, but like... what do I do to just be an above average, or just average interesting guy? google random stuff or wikipedia random pages or?... I've just had it up to here with trying with girls now


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel your pain. I went through the exact same thing in high school. I would see these guys that looked like they didn't know what the word shower meant steel all the girls. I would try my best to impress them and nothing worked. I would always be friend zoned. Home schooling was the best thing that happened to me. I discovered myself without being judged and told what's cool and what's not. I joined the gym, played at sports clubs worked part time at a video store, made lots of new friends. Girls started approaching me, There was this one girl that used to treat me like crap in high school that came to the video store and she and her mom were all flirty. She was shocked to find out we were in the same class. I'm not saying you have to home school. But if you start doing the things you enjoy doing regardless of what people think. (Remember set the trend don't follow it) . Join the gym, take up kick boxing ( these are great ways to stay in shape and build up confidence). get a part time job. ( Will help build your communication skills and help you meet lots of people). Girls will start to notice you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think the best advice is to pursue hobbies and do interesting fun/ things with your platonic friends or family members. This will allow you to gain interests and experiences in a natural way, and it will be genuine. This will help you seem like a more interesting and unique person while simultaneously enriching your life for real.


What Guys Said 2

  • get a hobby. join a club. something to do in free time that isn't watch tv. even video games are good. a good way to start to build some confidence is smile at every girl you see. or at least some...

    • My only hobby really is playing guitar, and I'm not even that great at it, been playing for 6 years, and I started because girls apparently like guys that play guitar, I would think about going to these club meetings on campus, I just feel like I wouldn't fit in, I'm not that sociable and I just sit off to the side and let everyone else talk. Like I sat in on our web design club at our school, but I didn't say anything, they didn't even notice I was there, and it's only like 15 people in it..

  • You don't. You develop your own personality and accept those who like it. Believe me, you don't want to go out of your way to be someone you're not, especially for women. Most of them aren't worth it.


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