Totally lost... What should I do?

For my boyfriend's birthday, which was less than 2 weeks after Christmas, I got him a brand new $150 Fossil watch, after buying him $70 cologne for Christmas. Well, my birthday was 2/24 and he came to see me a few days before, but didn't get me anything and I don't think he did at all.

I'm not trying to sound rude or materialistic but I did go out of my way to make sure he had a nice Christmas and birthday, so I do feel a bit bummed.

What do I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • lol these people are crazy. A birthday is so special and only comes around once a year. Even if he couldn't buy you something he could have at least taken you to Olive Garden. Damn.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe he's not a gift-giver.

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  • Who cares how much things cost? Ever heard of the thought is what counts? He came to see you for your birthday.

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    • Show All
    • We want the guys to just tell us they don't believe in exchanging gifts. Them our expectations won't be so high. Cause apparently just a $2 card is a high expectation. -_-

    • I MADE her a card and wrote a poem. I took MY OWN time doing so instead of going to the store to buy one. How is that not viewed as thoughtful!? Reason #3241 you all suck.

What Girls Said 6

  • This happened to me too. I gave a cute chocolate piece that said "happy birthday" to this guy I had a crush on. He asked me out, and months later my birthday rolled around. He did NOTHING. Zip. Nada.

    I'm a low key girl. If you're too poor to afford anything over $10 for my birthday, I don't care (just don't brag about how you spent $150 on a previous girlfriend to make me jealous and expect the same). It's the thought that counts. He didn't even get me a card or write "happy birthday" on a sheet of notebook paper.

    So, I broke up with him afterward, thought he was the love of my life but he wasn't treating me right (I suspected he was not truthful about other things) blah blah blah. I called him 2 years later to get closure, and it turned out he did care about me, but he acted like a jerk (his words) because of his own issues that he wouldn't tell me about. I was grateful for this.

    So, my point is, he is either a jerk, or cares but has his own issues that make him undatable anyway, given you aren't from vastly different cultures and he knew your expectations.

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    • Oh, and this guy forgot my actual birthday, and tried to cover it up by saying he was going to surprise me at the end of the day (WTF) with a happy birthday text or IM. I told him how I saw it, and he gave me a really hard time. It was bad. Oh, and he tried passing off a game he lent to me a few days before as his birthday gift to me when I asked. So lazy.

    • For the other answers, all I can say is that while gifts are meant to be given without the expectation of getting, it is a societal norm to exchange Christmas gifts with your significant other and give birthday gifts in America. If your boyfriend doesn't believe in exchanging gifts like that (which would be understandable), he should tell you in advance before you spend money on him and he shows up empty-handed without a word.

  • I hate how on this site, whenever a girl complains that her boyfriend didn't get her a gift when he totally should have, the guys always think you're being selfish and materialistic. Just ignore the male answers to questions like this.

    Look, if your boyfriend didn't get you a birthday gift when you got him a really nice one, it probably means one of three things.

    1) He ordered your gift and it's late.

    2) He is strapped for cash at the moment and couldn't afford you a gift (for this reason I suggest waiting until after his next paycheck before you freak out).

    3) He doesn't care that much for you and therefore he forgot. I say that one because any guy who wants to keep his girl will make sure to acknowledge her birthday with more than a comment on her Facebook wall and a visit.

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  • Unfortunately when you give a gift you should always be giving them without expecting something in return.

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  • I know what you mean, I would be bummed out too. It's not like you need an expensive gift, just even a cute card with something personal written in it. If he didn't acknowledge your birthday at all, I would definitely have a talk with him.

    Let him know that you were hurt that he never acknowledged your birthday. If this behavior continues and you are not a priority in his life, find someone who will make you a priority.

    This could just be the beginning of a pattern for him.

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  • A lot of people always say things like "do you give gifts because you expect something in return?" and act as if it's entirely unacceptable and crazy to be disappointed because you haven't gotten something from your partner. Needless to say, I disagree with these people.

    When my (now) ex had his birthday, I went out of my way to wish him a happy birthday right when he woke up. It was a long distance relationship so my options were limited, but I did what I could. Then my birthday came around. I heard nothing from him. Not even a text message. Then I saw him posting in an online forum, and I felt bummed. It was 8 pm and still nothing from him. When I told him he's a bit of an ass he acted like it wasn't a big deal, like "it's just a birthday".

    So I can totally relate to how you feel, and you have every right to feel a bit bummed. If I were you, I'd tell him how disappointed you are.

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  • Wow, he sucks! I would try to ask him about it. You're right, a nice card would suffice, but he did nothing?! No, you don't do that. Let him know.

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