Would it bother you if your new step-son doesn't call or visit?

I'm a newly wed, but have known my husband for 8 years. His son is now 13, and we no relationship with him! He did not come to the wedding,has to be told to greet me when around, and makes excuses not to come over...ever! I know I did nothing for this child to hate me; I used to work for his school district and we always are respectful. We see him about twice a year, and he lives less than 5 miles away. Should I be bothered, or feel "lucky" as some have told me I am?


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I remember when I was younger, my mother was dating someone for a while (a cool dude) before he tragically passed away. I didn't have a relationship with my father. I didn't hate the boyfriend, but I didn't desire to be close with him - he was just a guy to me. However, I was younger than your stepson, so I had less say-so about wanting to be around him.

    It is possible that he just sees you as "some lady my dad married." It doesn't mean he hates you; he might be indifferent toward you.

    • That is the problem, I too ammindifferent. I see him only as a product of my husband knocking some girl up at 22, and a bond was never formed. I never felt anything for this child and he's the same way obviously

    • Subconcsiously there may be a part of you that wants to develop a rapport with him, even though you've not had any to this point. I'm not a psychologist, but it seems like you're wondering "what if..."

What Girls Said 1

  • I would be bothered. Its your husband's son its natural to want a cool relationship with him. Its hard because you don't want to do too much and seem like the creepy step mom or do too little and seem like a jerk. 13 is also a tough age for kids. 13 year old are typically selfish and can't see pass their noses. I would say keep encouraging him to come over. Also continue to be loving and supportive of his dad. At 13 he may not get it but later in life he will understand more. Don't let it stress you out or become an issue with her relationship with your hubby.

    • Thank you, 13 is ackward. We don't have any kids so I feel his son not being in our lives makes it worse I'll continue trying to be supportive, thanks.

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