How can I get him to call me more?

My boyfriend doesn't call me often or make much effort. He likes seeing me probably mostly for the sex I'm not sure. When I've told him before he should call me more and want to see me more he's told me it freaks him out because I'm trying to control him or he'll say he will but it's almost like he's a child who purposefully goes against what he's been told to do.

Is there anything I can do to make him more interested and step up his game? I'm always the one complaining and asking to see him it's driving me mad. Don't just say finish it I know that's one option but I want other suggestions because when we are togeher things are great but he knows he has me on a plate


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People have different needs. Most guys don't have the need to talk over the phone. Especially just to talk for the sake of talking. That doesn't mean that we don't care. It just means that guys and girls have different needs when it comes to communication, generally speaking.

    You also need to take into consideration that just because you want or need him to call you more often doesn't give you the right to demand this of him. Just like he doesn't have the right to demand that you require less communication. Both of you have your own right to need what you need, nobody is wrong. Hopefully you can explain your needs and come to some kind of compromise that work for both of you. But just don't make assumptions that communication every day (or something) is by default how relationships should work just because this might be what you want.

    So to answer your question.

    You can't make him call more. Sure, you can make ultimatums and threats and such that might make him call a little more. But that will not last very long and eventually it will make the relationship suffer.

    I suggest you have a talk, face to face about what you both expect, want and need from your relationship to work.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It doesn't sound like the most healthy of relationships... but as for him not calling it could be a lot of reasons. He may just not like to call unless he absolutely has to, or he might not think he has to for some reason. Another possibility could be that he doesn't see your worth because he has you on such a 'plate' and so he just does whatever he wants to freely because he may have been used to that kind of lifestyle. Hope it works out in the end, I really don't know otherwise. From a nice guy's point of view, I would only call if the girl wanted me to, otherwise I would opt for the less attention-needing text saying what I'm thinking or what I found to be a cool thing to talk about. And it would take a sure amount of telling me what I can and can't do for me to label someone as controlling, so to me that's strange.

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  • Compromise on meeting up. That should do things in your favor.

    Say, every weekend, he should spend the whole two days with you. That should be a good one.

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  • You can't. That's the simple truth.

    Almost all girls wish their guys would contact them more. But that is just never going to happen.

    Girls love to communicate. Guys don't. Girls love to shop. Guys don't. Girls love shoes. Guys don't. Sure they're stereotypes, but they became stereotypes because of how true they are for the vast majority of people. (There are always exceptions.)

    You can't expect him to act like a girl instead of a guy, just because you said or did something to change his mind. It just doesn't work like that.

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  • By trying less and not asking him too. Show him you don't care. Have more fun going out and doing your own thing.

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What Girls Said 4

  • no sex til he really wants to be there for you.

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  • How long have you been with him ? How often do you see him ? How many times are you on the phone a day ? I might be able to help you been there befor

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    • Been together 3 months, see him 2-3 times a week, and never speak on the phone anymore unless it's been days and days. More I want less I get. Thanks!

  • Theres a book called "Why Men Love Bitches" its not so much about being a bitch but standing up for yourself. And sometimes standing up for yourself is showing you just don't care. So when he doesn't call. Go out with your friends and have a blast. Don't call him even if its for days at a time. And when he asks what is up that's when you tell him what is bothering you. Otherwise he just doesn't want to hear it. Good Luck!

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  • sounds like he doesn't appreciate you enough and is a selfish piece of child

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