He's 17, turning 18. I'm 20.

Hi ya'll. Kinda new but I wanna ask if anyone's been in this situation or something similar.

I'm a college sophomore, recently turned 20 this year. Been getting to know this guy who said he was 17. Totally platonic because I'm studying English and he wants to study that too. So we chat about favorite authors, books & share our own creations.

But he soon started saying, "wow. You're amazing <3 Beautiful <3 I wish I was with you." etc. Very flirty & generous with his compliments.

Been single for over a couple of years now so that came to a shock. I told him I wasn't comfortable with the flirty behavior because of the age difference (I'm looking for just a friendship) yet he's still pretty adamant in his feelings towards. I'm not really sure on what the proper things I should do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like the other end of my deal. I'm 17 and she's 19, But there's nothing wrong with an age difference of 2-4 at our age. It's actually pretty common, but other people do have other feelings about it. Personally, I like my friend because she's mature, funny, gorgeous, and we have a lot in common. We've been talking about getting together for a while now, but have decided to wait until school's out (so we can focus on grades). We met in school, similar to you and your friend, and have gotten well acquainted with each other. She'll be turning 20 in August, and I 18 in October. She's a freshman in college, I'm a junior in high school. If your only reason for not wanting to be "with" him is because of the age difference, then let it go. Although it is more common for the girl to be younger in a relationship, it is not the law. But if you feel strongly about just being friends for that reason, then just keep enforcing it. Make it a clear boundary that will separate you two. And as for the messages he's sending you, some men feel the need to show their passion for the people they care about. I am one of those men, and I think it's a noble reason. Just as chivalry is noble, so is showing affection for your love. Hope this helped you somehow. (And by the way, if you're really studying English, please reread your post and correct yourself in places. It's a little embarrassing on your part. Just some small mistakes...)

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What Guys Said 7

  • Just keep reminding him he's too young: eventually that should sink in.

    Guys that age can get really infaturated with an older girl. that's normal! The older girls are more intresting than the ones his own age, and you're in class together all the time, so it's like you were dating...Just enjoy the flattery and smile at him once in a while, and you'll be making his day.

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  • I've never been in that kind of situation before, and perhaps it's because of my open mindedness.

    In your situation, you should go with what you feel.

    Do you want to be with him? Are you comfortable being someone like him?

    You see yourself spending a long-term relationship with him?

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  • If you like him go for it, he likes you and cares about you.

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  • give it a try.

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  • I say you just tell him exactly that. Tell him you're flattered (if you are) but it's not going to happen. Tell him it's nothing personal, but it's just not. Tell him the age difference will always turn you off, and that nothing he says will change that. Just be as blunt as possible. Tell him you're not interested, and never will be. Period. The end. Full stop. If he doesn't stop, hit him with an ultimatum, wherein he either stops, or you stop hanging out.

    I know all this sounds cruel, but a lot of the time, when someone gets rejected and they don't stop, it's time to get serious. Time to be blunt. It's your best shot at getting him to stop. If he doesn't stop, then you know what to do.

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  • Either put up with his crush until he figures out nothing is going to happen and he gives up. Or you could rip is still beating heart out of his chest and show it to him, (metaphorically) so that he gets the message that you are not interested. I don't believe a good way to deal with someone that won't give up after you already rejected them actually exists.

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  • Don't worry. There is a couple here where the guy is 42 and the girl 21. They're more pathetic then your situation.

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