I have been dating this guy for a couple of months now and have known him for about a year through a mutual friend... I am finding it hard to trust him... I am not sure if its just from my past or its him and my gut telling me to not trust him... We are both very sarcastic and playful with each other and he will makes jokes and say things like " making out isn't cheating is it?" then he will laugh... I'm not sure if I am just being too sensitive after what I went through with my ex or if this is my gut telling me not to trust him. Not sure what to do...
How to trust your new boyfriend after being hurt in the past! HELP
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Trust your gut. The ex-bf who was the worst to me in terms of physical/emotional abuse was my friend for 6 years, who snatched me up right after I was out of another abusive relationship. I was mad at the last ex, and shared that with the new boyfriend, but he was angry about it. I couldn't let it go, and got very upset when he did small gestures that reminded me of the ex, because I was so scared he was going to control me too. He would do all these little things that bothered me, like being lazy and guilt-tripping me, while asserting he did "so much" for me, like a typical "nice guy."
Guess what-- the new guy was WORSE because he wanted to be the "white knight" and "save" me, only to put me on an imaginary pedestal that led to punishment (silent treatment, etc.) when I fell off of it. He even defended the last bf's actions, saying I wasn't a battered woman because the ex only hurt me 3 times.
So, the lesson here is to trust your gut, and not date anyone for a long time after a bad relationship. You might just go for someone who seems -a little- better in -some- way and it bites you back because he may be a little bad, just as bad, or worse than the previous ex.
And wtf? Why is he asking you that? That's not something to joke about. Of course making out is cheating.0
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