How to say "NO" in a nice way?

Ok, so there is this guy from school who I am pritty sure is trying to flirt with me and seems to be hinting at wanting to ask me out.

He constantly compliments me ( my hair, clothes, ect.) and follows me around from class to class...

And as flattering as it is it makes me feel kinda uncomfortable. I am very VERY shy, especally around boys, and have never had a boyfriend or even been on a date before. On top of that I don't even like the guy, I simply act polite to words him and tollorate his advances as best I can.

I want him to back off but I don't want to be rude or hurtful about it.

Any ideas?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I see this question often and wonder what the issue is. Do not be a door mat your whole life. Do not choose to be a people pleaser. Your space is your space and if you feel someone is bothering you then you tell them. Simply say I prefer to be left alone by you. Thank you for the attention but I am not interested by you. Be adult and simple about it. It is unfair to you AND him by not being honest and quick about it.

    • Wow I come back to see the other answers and these guys are telling you to give him a chance? You are NOT selfish for not liking someone. You like who you like. Wow this place is full of self pitying losers.

    • Thank you so much for your comments. I really appreciate that you took both mine and his feelings into consideration and that you approched my question with machurity.

    • Anytime. Good luck and always stay firm with your security and beliefs.

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What Guys Said 5

  • if you don't want to be rude about it, just

    tell him the truth about how you feel

    "please stop" or "please don't" should work too ^.~

  • Simply don't lead him on. Treat him just as a friend, and prevent texting him a lot. Also, a nice way to do things is to keep your distance from him.

  • why don't you give him a chance? Maybe you will find something good that you might like.

    • ok fine if you don't want to be with him, just be like I have noticed that you have tried to make advances towards me, but I just want to be friends.

  • give the poor guy a chance. stop being so selfish.

    • How am I being selfish? as I stated above, I am very shy... I just can't help it. I suffer severely from social anxiety. The meer thought of actiualy going on a date is inconceivable to me. I would probably have an anxiety attack before the date was through :(

      That is why I am looking for a way to turn him down gently. I may not particularly like him, but that's no reason to be a jerk to him ether.

  • Give him your phone number and ask him to call you. When he calls, don't answer and don't call back. Just try to see how many times he will call or text.

    If he asks you to hang out or to go on a date, just keep saying "Maybe".

    Say yes once in a while with no intention of actually meeting him. If he calls or texts on the days before in order to confirm, keep saying yes you'll be there. At the time you are supposed to meet, just don't show up.

    If he asks why you keep saying yes and then never show up, get upset at him. Accuse him of being a jerk and pressuring you so much.

    Feel good about yourself.


    • but... that would be so mean... I don't want to lead him on... and I couldn't possibly feel good about myself if I did such a thing... : (

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