My boyfriend of 3 years told me it was over and he no longer wanted me. He said I was immature and needed to grow up and he called me a whore all at the same time. I am neither. I have been very loyal to him and put up with a lot of physical, verbal and mental abuse while I was with him. I forgave him every time. We had moved from the crap we were living in, we saved our money and we got a new place. He had just got a job as an OTR truck driver, and he was to come home and be with me in our new home. When he came home, he decided to stay with his mother instead, and he asked me to bring all of his things over to him .He told me it was over and he didn't want me. I cried ofcourse, because I didn't understand why. He even brought his mother into the picture. She also told me I needed to grow up and learn how to be in a relationship with a man. Now, my boyfriend is a lot older. I am 20 and he is 36, but I didn't mind the age gap and neither did he, or so I thought. After I realized the relationship was finally over, I stopped crying and moping, and started hanging out with friends, I even met new men who I had plenty of fun with. My boyfriend has been contacting me a lot now saying that I am his girlfriend and I need to end all contact with any new dude I have been talking to. He says he wants us to work on our relationship and take things slow and make improvements. I am unsure about this because of how badly he ended the relationship. I am enjoying the new attention from the new guys I've met, and all the freedom and fun I am having. He will be coming home again. He wants to come home to me and I don't know if I should let him back in!
Most Helpful Guy
Oh my. First of all, a boyfriend who insults you, belittles you, and is so demeaning to you is not somebody you should be with. I know it is hard to hear, and I know that love can make people blind sometimes, but you have to realize that this guy is terrible to you and doesn't care for you the same way you care for him. Do not be with an abusive guy. I feel sorry for his next girlfriend(s) though.
Forgiveness is good, but you need to know where to draw the line. I would draw the line at abuse. I don't really get it though. Why would he buy the place with you and then end the relationship, asking you to bring the things over? That doesn't make sense? And on top of that, he tricked you into bringing his stuff over for him? I think he is too controlling and used to getting his own ways. It would be wise to stay away from him.
People should be understanding and tolerant of mistakes and different personalities. And your boyfriend isn't like that. He should not have brought his mother into the picture. His mother and his physical, mental, and verbal abuse most likely lowered your self-esteem. So you don't feel happy and content and what they say to you just makes you feel worse. You're 20. He's 36. You're right to be inexperienced. I don't know why he is taking his standards at 36 and telling you to grow up, when you're like half his age. That is really mean.
Be with other guys. Be with people that are more likely to respect you and be considerate. The problem is that you both bought the house, and I'm guessing that he also has the keys. I don't know what to do in this case. See if you can move out of the house. See a counselor. Get out before he gets back (if you can). It isn't going to make you happy if he is back. You have every right to be with who you want to be, and he has no say over that.4
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