Most Helpful Guy
You can't protect yourself from being hurt by building walls. You're learning that the hard way.
You have to try. And sometimes it's amazing, and sometimes you get hurt, and when you do, you pick yourself up and move forward.
Building walls doesn't make you strong, in fact it keeps you weak. You basically - and I don't mean this to be insulting - have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old when it comes to relationships. You are going to continue to be this way as long as you prevent yourself from gaining experience. You want to wait till its safe? Life doesn't work like that. And trying to make life safe just feeds the part of your brain that wants it to be.
You're devastated over a one evening cuddle and emotional connection. I understand why and I'm sorry but I have some bad news - there's gonna be a whole lot worse then that ahead. But there's also going to be much much better.
Have more faith in your ability to get through heartache, get out there and live.