What can I do to stop being socially awkward?

I don't have any friends and I've never come close to having a boyfriend. I'm nice and I guess I'm fairly pretty (I get compliments, not unless people are just saying it just to be nice), I have a lot of interests and passions, the only thing is I'm probably the most awkward girl imaginable.

GaG community, please help me figure out how to rid myself of this socially awkwardness!

They say there's someone out there for everyone and there are people out there that will appreciate me just the way I am but if that is true why am I so alone? Where are they hiding, these strange and mythical beings that will accept me?

Thanks for reading and contributing. Have a nice day!


Most Helpful Guy

  • The first thing is that you have to accept yourself for who you are. I know sounds easy but if you aren't accepting of yourself of if you get nervous around others because you are perceiving yourself as awkward well... then you're going to come off awkward. So, first just do your best to be okay with who you are.

    Second, I might suggest reading up on body language. Read both with the intent to identify it in others but also so that you can monitor the body language that you are presenting to others. You might be the best person in the world but if your body language is telling others something else they will never get close enough to see the real you.

    Third, get out and do the things that are important to you. That works as a natural filter to put you in proximity with others who have similar interests.

    And finally, don't give up. Say hello and engage everyone. When someone responds in a positive way engage them in a conversation. If they talk great you may nave a new friend. If they don't say much and move on that's okay too you had a chance to practice your social skills.

    Now... ready. set. GO!

    • I accept myself but no one else does.

      Tell me more about body language. That's something I don't know much about.

      I have yet to meet anyone in person who has similar interests.

      I haven't given up. That's why I am asking for help. I'm always working towards improving myself. I don't sit around and complain about my situation without actively trying to resolve it. I just haven't yet been able to figure this one out.

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What Guys Said 5

  • From one shy/socially awkward person to another, I think the only way to get past it is to put yourself out there in increments. Take me for example, I started posting more and more often in communities like GaG. That made talking to people slightly more comfortable. Now, I've been really making a point to go out to parties with the people I consider close friends and just in general making a point of hanging out with them as much as possible. You would be surprised as to how much easier its been for me to talk to people since I've started doing those things. I'm not saying my shyness and whatnot has gone away, far from it to be honest. I think I'll always be a quite/shy person. But, the key is to just put yourself out there. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain :)

    As to the part about never having a boyfriend. If it makes you feel and better, I'm almost 21 and have never had a girlfriend as I am VERY shy/feel insecure around girls. But seriously, If you put yourself out there I'm POSITIVE you'll find someone that want to be with you :)

    • I have been a member on this site for years. I have no friends to hang out or party with. I am not shy, I'm socially awkward. There's a difference. The problem isn't putting myself out there, the problem arises once I have already put myself out there.

      Well you're younger than me so I feel worse.

    • Well, in that case, you could always try the imitation technique. You could pick out a person that you see as particularly sociable and observe how they act with other people. then, attempt to imitate how said person acted while you are in a social interaction. Also, you may want to try this in a place you don't normally go or a coffee shop/cafe you don't normally frequent. that would take some of the pressure . It sounds weird, but seriously people do it all the time nowadays.

  • You need to come to realize how important you are. Fearfully and wonderfully made, even.

    • Explain how this solves my problem.

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    • Maybe that would be true if my lack of confidence was from not liking myself but since I actually like myself that can't be the reason. My lack of confidence is a result of people repeatedly having unfavorable perceptions of me.

      You can like yourself and not have confidence when it comes to certain things. Just like you can have the crappiest self-esteem yet have a lot of confidence in certain ways. I've seen girls with poor self-esteem who are great socially and do it with confidence.

    • But I know of a guy who was born without arm's or leg's who is now a motivational speaker and married to a very attractive woman. So, what gives?

  • Find a hobby. Something you can find passion in doing. Then incorporate that hobby into social activities. If you love books, look for a book club.

    From that point, you'll start to interact with people, and since you have a passion about your hobby, you will find some common ground to interact.

    From there, it will blossom.

    Also, as a tip...Ask people about themselves. People LOVE to talk about themselves, and they will get a positive impression of you as a result.

    • I have lots of hobbies and passions like I said in my question, I just never make friends from having them. When I do ask people about themselves they act very strange. Like I'm bothering them. Just the other day I saw a girl with curly hair and gave her a compliment and asked her how she gets it like that because I have curly hair too, and she was very rude and short with me. At first I thought that people are weird but its a reoccurring thing so I have to consider that I'm the problem.

    • So then join groups that incorporate your hobbies. Groups where you are out of the house.

    • I do and I am. I do have a life outside of home, it's just that I have made friends and formed relationships that way.

  • 1. You must accept yourself. It is obvious that you do not. Work on your self esteem. Find out why you doubt yourself so much.

    2. Practice. Yes, practice your social skills. Put yourself in social settings & practice talking to others, etc. Start small & in some group or class that has the same interests that you do.

    3. Ignore what mom said, talk to strangers. This is good practice for you. When you are at the store or standing in line, say hello to the person behind you & ask how they are. Or ask about something in their shopping cart, ex: do you like cooking with that oil? Or do you like that cereal? If you screw it up, who cares? They don't know you.

    4. Relax. Do not be so hard on yourself. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to being hard on yourself.

  • Join social groups like youth organizations.

    Also, join clubs where you can meet people.

    That way, you can be sure of your actions and it will be improved through small gatherings, and you can meet the whole world in a new light.


What Girls Said 1

  • What do you mean when you say you are awkward? Can you think of any examples of behavior you exhibited when you know you were being awkward? Or examples of scenarios where you *feel* awkward? This isn't a smart-ass question... I would like to be able to answer you with something that might benefit you, but since I don't know what you are doing (or not doing), I don't know where to start.

    And yeah- it does sort of make a difference. I was "socially awkward" right up until I hit college. All of a sudden, the things that made me weird in high school made me fun at parties. I went from being the girl who always said the most horrendus things and made stupid jokes that nobody got to being "quirky" and "outspoken" and "real". My problem (such as it was) was my total lack of filter between my brain and my mouth. If I thought it, I said it. It was a curse- and later, sort of a blessing. So... how are you awkward?

    • I gave one example in my comment to yaddayaddayadda02's answer. Usually it just involves me trying to get to know someone...well not necessarily even getting to know someone, just making small conversation. Sometimes I'll meet people and we'll talk for a while like normal then at some point there will be an awkward silence and they'll act funny from then on.

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    • Thanks. And as much as I enjoy being alone and not having to answer to anyone, it gets lonely at times and this is one of those days. Everyone one wants to have at least one person who likes them that they can hang out and have fun with. I think I am awkward and maybe even dorky. Being eccentric or quirky is in style but when's being something like dorky or virtuous going to be in style?

    • I don't know that it's not. You just haven't found your herd yet...maybe they are laying low.

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