What's missing in me? Please help!

I have had two breakups, and they have left me feeling very inadequate.

My first boyfriend broke up with me randomly after one year of dating. He said he thought I deserved better. And then he said he started liking me less, and felt stressed out by the relationship. This was three years ago. He still is a close friend, and tries to always be there for me. But the other day, I saw this thing he wrote for his new gf...it was the sweetest thing I have EVER read. He said how this new girlfriend was everything he ever wanted and more. Made me feel so inadequate that I was never a woman like that for him.

My second boyfriend also randomly broke up with after one year of dating. I knew this one liked me a lot more...but he said he genuinely was getting stressed out and scared of the relationship. He said it was getting too serious, and he was too young for it (he's 23 y/o). He said he just started liking me less...and he's not sure why (maybe because he wasn't ready?) Nowdays, he tries to be friends, with minimal effort. He just doesn't think I am anything special, even though he was obsessd with me before he asked me out :(

I feel like I try the hardest I can to be a strong, caring, sweet woman to all the men in my life. But they never see me as someone to be with forever. They are so quick to discard me at the slightest little thing. I don't ask for much, and I am very understanding.

How come guys never see enough in me to fight for me to stay in a relationship with me? How come they toss me aside so easily? I am pretty, sweet, and very intelligent...so what am I missing? I feel so hurt by both of these experiences...


Most Helpful Guy

  • What sexyasianboi26 said, is only true for some guys, douche bags, if you will. Feelings change, what your seeing right now is the early stage, at a point in time where their feelings haven't lessened yet, like they did with you, they could start to feel less for their current SO's.

    And sometimes you just don't feel that special spark, that makes it so special.

    • LOL! Either way, we did have LOTS of sex. Like a lot! (With the second guy)...and he STILL left. I feel so not good enough :( it hurts sometimes. anyway. thanks for the input!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Ok, you didn't mention anything about sex. Stupid as it sounds, sex is the first thing a guy looks for in a relationship.

    If that's missing in a relationship, then he will go look for it somewhere else.

  • There's no easy or simple answer to this.

    I don't have any success with girls, even though there's no major wrong with me and I have quite a lot going for me. I guess some people are just more sexually alluring/captivating than other people.


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