Don't ask, don't tell?

Lately, I've seen a couple of interesting movies challenging the idea of monogamy. The most recent was "Un baiser s'il vous plaît" (the title badly translated to Shall We Kiss).

My boyfriends ex used to say "If you are cheating on me I better not find out." At the same time, this stance is the most foolish and the most brilliant. At first it sounded like she was being silly and sending him a message that he had permission to do whatever he pleased. But there is so much more to it. When you hash out exactly what the ex meant, its a sort of "if a tree falls in the woods but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" dilemma. Assuming she never found out -- ie she got the same amount of attention, she was not introduced to stds, her partner was always available when she needed, and if she had kids they were also not hurt, etc...Would it really make a difference if her partner were with another man/woman? She apparently had decided, it does not.

Yet even when we are provided for and all of our desires are met, there is still something in many of us that demands monogamy. Is it that we are ok with the don't ask, don't tell policy but we cannot trust our partner-- That we think eventually we will find out and/or (for those of you who have seen the movie) that it will lead to the consequences in "Un baiser s'il vous plaît"?

Don't ask, don't tell?
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