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I need help. Please?

First I'm sorry for posting this here I just have no idea what else to do. I've tried a lot.

I need help and don't know where to go. I've been fighting depression for years now and am losing. I've tried to kill myself twice both times failed. I'm taking that as a sigh not to try again but that doesn't fix anything. My life is still hell and I'm always sad of angry. I've tried talking to a professional before but he made it a lot worse. I know I'm messed up and need help just no one will help me. I don't know what to do.
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What's going on is probably normally. I don't know. My family treats me like shit besides my mom (she knows I was depressed but she just got offended that the life I have isn't good enough) my dad and one of my older brothers drink often, I've been abused physical for most my life until I fought back almost killed a guy who punched me. After that I was the bad guy even though he hit me first and had beaten me before so bad I couldn't get up. I just returned the favor. I still have scars from tha
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I've been mentality abuse my whole life too. I have dyslexic so I've been made fun of for being stupid my whole life. I didn't know what dyslexia was until two or three years ago so I honestly thought I was stupid until then. I have been in a few relationships all ending badly. The most recent was really bad. All my friends have moved away and every passion I have gets taken away, I used to fence and box but I broke my leg two years ago and can't anymore. It's like that with everything that
I need help. Please?
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