Confident people. how do you stay focused on your positives so that you stay confident and not worry about your flaws?

i realise we all have positives and flaws./ to be confident i need to focus on my positives. but when im surrounded by people or am in public i always feel like my flaws are showing through. how do you stay cool with yourself.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've only recently started to be more confident, so I don't really know if I qualify.
    For me, though, there was a moment in which everything fell back in place. Now, I'll try and tell you how I did it, just for you to see if you can use some tidbits.
    It all started the moment I started getting rid of my addictions, about 6 months ago. Porn, gaming, Fanfiction; I was admittedly addicted to a lot of stuff (though no drugs, alcohol or smoking, luckily for me). And it was slowly draining me and killing me. Now, I know I think a little bit faster than most people. This is not to brag, but to tell you that the process may not always be this fast. For me it went - and still goes - at lightning speed. I started to really get into philosophy, and to have it change me in ways I couldn't even have fathomed before.

    Long story short, here is the trick.
    Recognize what, in your life, is "bad", and try to cut it. However small your success may be, it will still give you the strength to look other people in the eye, because you know you're improving yourself.
    The moment you can look people in the eye, stop thinking about yourself. As in, at all. And start asking about others. What makes them tick, what their dreams are, and even random fun facts from them. You'll find yourself enjoying life lots more. And you'll look everyone in the eye while doing it.
    You'll never be perfect. By yourself. :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • I've went through this face when you feel like you're left out and nobody really cares about you. This is what I did-
    1) surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher
    2) remember, everybody have insecurities no matter how perfect their lives seem to be.
    3) work smart and focus.
    4) nobody really gives a shit about you because everyone thinks that their little world with handful of friend is everything.
    5) set goals that don't let you sleep.

    All the best!!
    Stay hungry, Stay foolish.

    Source- I'm a introvert so I've already learned to deal with it and I would be glad to help you.


What Guys Said 2

  • Flaws? flaws are the things that only other people have!!!😎

    • yes I can see your so cool

    • Show All
    • no, I agree with you. we learn early and that shapes our self esteem. I also agree that we don't even consciously do it most of the time. it just runs in the background of our minds. but people do change. if your born and learn to not be confident it dosent mean we are destined to be that way forever. I guess I was just looking to share thought processes and what goes on in the mind of a confident person. we learn from seeing others. just a friendly conversation nothing serious

    • Great reply... And great question now that we've clarified. It was difficult to think about confidence from a different perspective and something that could be consciously sculpted and maintained. I like learning a different way of looking at something that's otherwise taken for granted...
      Thanks for the convo and best of luck to you. 👍🏻

  • It's simple really I don't worry about anything that I can't control nor do I compare myself to ___ because in the end I'lll never be him. So with that being said I work with what I have.. not what I don't