What do you do when you're too white for black people, and too black for the white people?

I’ve spent the first two years of my college life alone in my dorm and I’m sick of it.
My only two friends suck and I don’t want much to do with them anymore. I’m really close to four of my cousins but they live in a different state so I rarely see them.

My family really thinks the best way for me to make friends and build a social life outside of my cousins is to join a sorority. I agree with them because I don't have a social life otherwise.

The problem is there is Pan-hellenic (predominalty black) and Panhellenic (predominantly white) at my school. I’m black but I don’t really fit in with other black people, aside from my family. On the other hand, I don’t think I’d fit in a predominantly white sorority because I’m black. I'm somehwhat skeptical that there will be racism.

I only have 1 week to make a decision, so I've come to GAG looking for advice.

Here's a little bit about me: I like anime/manga, but you'd never guess it judging by my apperance. I love Rock, R&B. Opera and Country music. I love action, drama or thriller movies. I like to draw and paint anime characters. My favorite TV shows are The Amazing World of Gumball, Awkward, and Empire. I love Mexican Food and I'm attracted to pretty much any race. My favorite actors are Tia/Tamera Mowry, Paul Walker, Zoe Saldana, Maryl Streep and Zhang Ziyi.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay, well you definitely fit in with the blacks because as you said you are an African-American young lady.
    But really you don't seem to fit in with the typical culture.
    I guess that's what you mean?
    You have to understand that being black is an experience.
    What we go through in life, all makes us share the same common ground and relation.
    Being black is more than the music you listen to, how you dance, speak etc.

    Zoe Kravitz a mixed black woman explains her struggles of not identifying with black culture.
    (This might be interesting to you).

    I think you should just be yourself.
    Racism is something you will have to face.
    People who like you... will see past your skin.
    This experience will make you stronger.

    • And when I say you fit with the blacks (I am speaking about phenotype and look wise).
      But culturally you feel you don't belong.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Just try to find people you share interests with. There have to be movie and anime fans at a college. Look for groups online or try chatting someone up. I've never personally been in a situation where my color was considered before my personality, but I'm white so what do I know? Lol. But just look for people that you can talk to and go from there. Good luck!

  • i guess joinin black would be better in my opinion. reason's u say u r black yerself. i say this coz chances to trigger racists r less... i don't mean whites r racists, i mean among those whites there might be someone who hates people who don't share same skin color as him/her

  • Why do people give so much attention to race 'issues'?
    The MHA was already chosen, but whatever. Racism is a colectivist concept (like religion, nationalism, etc)... colectivism will usually produce mindsets that judge or pay too much attention to minor and irrelevant things (history has proven that enough).

    Skin color was supposed to be a really minor thing (considering its only asthetic) but historicaly it was "magnified" and consequently treated as a HUUGE thing.. Smacking people with the thought that race is an extremely important matter not only reinforces mindless and colectivist behaviour it only makes the race problem WORSE.

    The more colectivist the people, the smaller its tendency to accept individuality, differences in culture, sexuality, etc... Respect for individuality is the key to fix the whole 'race issue', and that will only happen when we become more individualistic (which is something totaly different from being egocentric), specially how racism is a colectivist concept... ('judge the person using the whole')

    If you didn't understand a single thing that i tried to say, then i truly recommend you (and also if you DID understand :D ) to read Freud's "Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego" and Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"

  • I don't know what to say. I feel like that sometimes too. Maybe talk to the sorority and see how they feel. You should get a feeling how they are just by taking to them

  • I'd recommend joining the one whose culture matches up best with your personality, which I'm guessing is the white one.

  • too black for the white kids and too white for the blacks

    from honor role to snappin chains offa them bicycle racks.


What Girls Said 1

  • But wouldn't that make you more japanese?