Hey everyone, I would be so appreciative if someone can answer my question?

There is a girl I love and she loves me like crazy too. We even plan on getting married and everything. However something terrible happened in her family in which she lost 3 cousins and her brother is in a coma.
She told me that she needs her space because "she feels like her life is falling apart". I respected that. However for the like 27 days I have been writing her a letter a day telling her how much I love her and to stay strong. Her brother is still in a coma.
Anyways, she has expressed to me that she loves the letters and they make her feel a lot better.
I just want to know when you guys think that she will come back to me like normal? When her brother wakes up?
I am trying so hard not to be selfish but I miss her like crazy.
What do you people think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • that must be so hard for the both of you :( so sorry to hear that.

    she's probably very upset and depressed most days, I think that in addition to the stress and sadness that her brother is in a coma, she doesn't want to bring you down with her.
    everyone copes differently, and I find that I also need a lot of space in times of tragedy - not because i don't love the people around me, but because I am a constant mess.

    I recently lost a friend (who was murdered) and my granny just before that, and I found myself crying several times a day just out of nowhere. i live with my boyfriend, so its hard to keep him from seeing me when i dont want to be seen, but if i could have i would have wanted space.

    give it 2-3 more weeks, but until then, try and see if there is anyway you could help her and her family. like, if they need help watching her brother at the hospital, or if they need random grocery items, or even if they just need a tub of ice cream.

    best of luck to you, sweetheart. and i hope her brother wakes up soon :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • While your pain is great, her pain is far greater. You have hope of your life returning to reasonable normalcy. She does not.
    You're doing everything you can. Keep your central message "When you're ready, I'll be here for you. I love you."
    Agree with @squidneyy


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Oer... This is a toughie.
    To be honest, she probably feels guilty about the idea of her being happy while her brother is suffering. If she loves you too do you reaaaaally think she wants to be away from you either? It's definitely hard on her as well, but I think she wants to focus on her brother.
    It's only natural for you to feel this way, and I think it's a really reaaaally good thing that you're writing to her. Like, specifically writing a letter. There's something so personal and loving about letters, and I'm sure she knows that too :)
    I think you're supporting her perfectly, and I would just say that you have to wait this out. Be warned that it could be awhile, but if you were in her shoes, would you be able to just go back to normal while someone you love is in trouble?
    Hope this helped, and I hope everything becomes okay again soon!!


What Guys Said 1

  • She will tell you when she's over it, i don't think she will spend her life being sad eventually she will move on