What can I do to boost my self confidence?

in elemamtry school I was bullied HORRIBLY by... I had friends but only girls all the guys used to harass me they would tell me it was my fault my mom died they would put notes in my bag saying how ugly I was they used to hang up on me until I was in tears this went on 3rd-6th grade and it seemed to get worse every year then in seventh grade I switched out of the district to get away from those kids so I was kind of a loner until the ending of middle school then I made a lot of friends and everything is better now.. but the things those kids said to me even though I'm now going to be a junior in highschool In the fall all those things they said.. stuck.. I literally hate everything about myself my eyes my body my hair my nose just everything I feel as I annoy everyone I have friends and family but I still feel alone and cannot seem to like myself


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What Guys Said 2

  • Unfortunatly the old addage, "Time heals all wounds" isn't true. You just don't notice that they hurt as often.
    I can't provide any magical answers, serious bullying and some other issues have really screwed with my head aswell. But I can suggest a few tips to make the hard times easier.
    1) Remember that you are what matters, not someone else.
    People are dicks. Really most people are selfish, they do good things because it makes them feel good, and they do evil because it's fun or convenient. Who cares what a bunch of dicks may or may not think?
    They picked on you because they were jealous, or were venting frustrations in their own sad little lives. Anyone can be a target for abuse, it doesn't have to come from any flaw in the abused, and very rarely does.
    2) Learn to spot irrational thoughts.
    You know that swarm of paranoia and irrationality which sometimes swims in your head? Snatch one of those points, any one. And review it. (sorry if I hit a nerve here but it's best to work with a real example: "I'm ugly". What evidence do you have of that? Have you ever been complimented on your looks? Remember that compliments are rarer than critiscisms so sould be weighed more heavily.
    Once you have examined how rational a thought is, it's easier to dismiss it in future.
    3) Cut the thoughts off at the start.
    Learn to spot things which will trigger irational thoughts. Does a mirror in the hall make you second guess your looks? Once you have identified such triggers you can either avoid the trigers, or in the long run teach yourself to preemptively dismiss the irational thoughts before they get a chance to overwhelm you.
    4) Talk to someone. I know this is hard. It can be damn nigh impossible to find someone impartial who you can open up to, and know that they want the best for you in their responses, without making yourself vulnerable to someone in your life. But everyone needs someone like that. For some it's family (often a crazy aunt :p ) for some a friend. For some, a randome person on the internet or even a family pet or journal.
    Who ever it is, you will find that putting your feelings into words will lock them down. Force them to take on a set form, and make it easier to face, and dismiss them.

    These things won't cure. But they will help you maintain controle and work past the issues.

    • Looking into Cognative Behavioural Therapy might really help. You can find a lot of stuff free online, or often find free courses run by charities.

  • I am sorry that you went through this. There is one thing that I can tell you - as you get older, move on, especially after high school, all these idiots will be gone and the new people you will meet will not think of you like the elementary school girl. Life will change in that way, be assured.
    I sometimes gt a little harsh on posts like yous, - please allow me to explain. The bullying you endured obviously had a great affect on your ability to do school work. Hence, your grammar and communication skills are very weak. Read your post. You have run-on sentences which makes it hard to understand everything. THE GOOD NEWS is that anyone who desires, can learn grammar, spelling, etc. in a short time - when they want to do so. It actually only takes about 100 hours of instruction in order to learn these things - when you really want to do so. So, go show those assholes that you can not only grow beyond them, but that you can also make something of yourself. Who knows, in 10 years you may run into one of these idiots and show them how happy and successful you can be. then you can smile at them and never have to say a word - they will know.


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