I can't stand his one daughter. I need advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. He has 4 children. Two of which are adopted. The oldest adopted girl I can't stand to be around. I don't know what to do. I feel like I wanna scream evrytime I look at her. She is so disrespectful. She has caused so many issues between me and my partner ( her adopted father) and issues between her adopted mother and father. She is old enough to know right from wrong, so why she did, and said the mean, nasty things she did, is beyond me. I simply just don't want her around. I don't trust her. My boyfriend (her step father) doesn't trust her either but he feels he can't avoid her and i do understand that, so I've thought about leaving whenever she comes over but I don't have a vehicle. So I am stuck in the house with her and if we go anywhere.. she has to come too. I just don't know what to do. I can't seem to get over the resentment I have towards her. I don't want to feel this way and I truly try not to feel this way but she makes it very easy to dislike her. Her nose is glued to her phone constantly. She gets told to put it up, so she puts it up for 5 mins, then grabs it and starts texting again or tries to hide it and texts. I do realize I am the adult here. And I really don't like feeling this way but I can't help it. Leaving my boyfriend is not an option, I love him too much. I need advice :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't tell us her age (from the description I suspect she's an adolescent) , but anyway, if you accept the man, you have to accept his children too. Try charming her, with some complicity, becoming the persons she wants to urn to in case of problem.

    • She is 14. And when me and my boyfriend got together, I tried being her friend, we went shopping, dinner, went on outings etc. I honestly don't know why she would screw it all up, she had so much fun with us. I feel she loves drama. She's a very smart girl and when she doesn't get her way then that's the reason she acts like that. I think she's a brat. I feel I've tried to become her friend and she messed it up twice so why bother doing it again. She is the way she is, and probably will always be that way. But I feel I can't even go in another room to get away from her because that will raise questions. They will wonder why I'm not around and my boyfriend will feel awkward also... :(

    • in my opinion it's better not to give up on children: they change much when growing up. She can be a completely different person in two years from now and you might help that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am assuming the girl is a teen because you are speaking about her texting.

    There really isn't anything you can do in this situation.

    His daughter is a part of him, so you have no choice to accept her.

    Even if this young girl were your own biological child, it's possible parents
    have kids who they can't stand (as well).
    No matter how well you mold your child, sometimes they turn into a person you dislike.

    "It takes a whole village to raise a child".
    Parents aren't the only influence.
    So, is their school and the friends they make.
    (There comes a time in a child's life where they spend more time in school, than they do at home with their own families).
    She may be bringing bad behavior home from school, and as the adult you have to re-inforce what is correct.
    At times, it is a battle.
    And it may seem like you aren't winning.
    But fast forward 5 years from now, you both may laugh together at how she used to be and what you had to overcome.

    All you can do is accept the role you have in her life, and try to help mold her into a great human-being.
    It takes time.
    It takes work.
    But right now all you can do is accept and tolerate.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Put up with her and get over it. What else do you expect for advice? Tips on hiding a body?
    It's a package deal. Sorry to be so blunt, but really. Maybe see a therapist, it might help ease your anger.

    • I kind of expected that. But i guess I was hoping someone would think of something that I didn't. But yes your right its a package deal. I guess the best thing to do is get myself a vehicle and whenever she comes around I'll just leave and come back at night when she is asleep. That's the only way to avoid it or at least untill I see a therapist which I will be very soon. Ty for your advice.:)