You hate yourself, Don't worry I do too?

This might not be something you normally hear coming from a guy, but I really hate myself; I hate who I am, how I look, and who I've become.

Now I'm not an awful person. I have a temper and I'm awkward around girls, but hey that's me. I simply hate how I look, and that I'm not a suave Don Juan who can sweep women off their feet. While all my friends were out having fun with girls and enjoying a social life with their friends, I was at home watching TV regretting my decision of spending time with myself. Through out middle school I was heavily bullied, and my father started blaming me for all his shortcomings. Girls would call me ugly and say that I was strange, one even went as far as saying I wouldn't look right without a girlfriend lol. I took all of this with me into high school; I never dated, never had sex, and never even attempted to flirt with a girl due to fear of rejection.

But then something started clicking! Yes, I can finally speak to girls! Wow, I actually have a pulse! Some girls started liking me, some even said I was cute, I dated a beautiful girl I met far away. Although it was a long distance relationship, the fact that a girl liked me and appreciated who I was as a person meant a lot to me.

Then I met my most recent ex a young girl I spent 4 years with. Initially I didn't find her attractive, but she was mysterious and I wanted to know more. The relationship was always very rocky; my temper and her lack of opening up made it difficult. I'd like to think I made it harder on the both of us more than she did. I wasn't happy with myself, I was anxious about my future, and I didn't know if really wanted to make her the mother of my children. I feel like the sex was the best it could get for the both of us and after that we were just coasting; 'riding a wave' for lack of a better term.

Then months ago, she left...

She made me realize how unhappy I was with myself. She left me

There was so much more I wanted to write to this, but I just couldn't fit it all. I was literally crying on my bathroom floor writing all this last night because it just hit me how worthless I feel. Sometimes I believe that the thought of everyone finding love is just a pipe dream.


Most Helpful Girl

  • To start, I want you to understand that you are valuable. You're a living, breathing human being and that's enough for you to appreciate yourself. The problem is not that people have said these things to you, the problem is that you've decided they were right. When I say there is someone for EVERYONE I truly mean that, as much as you belittle yourself there is a woman who thinks you are a real Rico Suave. Women are very emotional in themselves, and while insecurities are common among everyone they love men who make them feel special. You can't love a woman wholly and fully without first loving yourself. You need to work on your confidence. The first step in achieving a happy healthy relationship is attraction. Whether it be your physical build, a nice cologne or simply because you said something funny, there needs to be something peculiar about you to draw anyone in. Once you've done that it's all about your heart. If your heart is filled with sadness and pain, aching and loneliness, regret and anger, you will scare off any woman worth keeping. Try building your self esteem. Fix the negative things about your personality (condescending tones, pessimistic outlook, short temper, etc.) and build positive ones (always remaining hopeful, supportive, genuinely affectionate). As for the things you can't fix, like a goofy laugh, or weird snacks you love to eat, embrace them. Laugh heartily, smile big, love at all times. That's all you need to achieve a happier life. Lastly, remember, a woman's acceptance is not going to complete you, only acceptance of yourself can do that. Good luck out there! :]


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What Girls Said 2

  • Wow, that must be rough having such an awful opinion about yourself. Is there nothing you like about you? Are you proud of anything you can do? Talents, skills? You said you're not an awful person at least.

    We all have parts of ourselves that we wish were different, but actually HATING those parts is not helpful in any way. You gotta take the bad with the good. The good parts plus the bad parts make up the whole which is you. Your temper, your awkwardness, your looks... they are nothing SOOOOOO terrible that they deserve to be hated. You're not a mass serial killer, I'm assuming, so I think it's safe to say you don't deserve to be hated. Cut yourself some slack. No human being walking this planet is perfect, so stop beating up on yourself for not being so.

  • Well I appreciate you for what you are and that does not include your degree, any education you ever had, the money that belongs to you, your face or your body, my appreciation does not include even your skin, bones, muscles and veins, not your gender or your nationality. I appreciate the "you", when all these "outer" stuff are taken away whatever remains of you. Beyond your thoughts and your mind and your social status. You came to the earth with a "body" just because you are meant for a purpose and without you the cycle of universe would not have been completed :) appreciate yourself. I love you and your soul. (only because you have one ;) )


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