How to come to terms that im not attractive enough?

How do i come to term with the fact that im average or maybe even below average?

Before i hated the way i looked, it took my years to realise just because i was different it didn't mean i was unattractive, and im at a point where i acccept that i look the way i look. But my confidence in myself has been a bit rocky, and i can go from "im really cute" to "i look terrible, why does this guy like me?"..

im just moved, just made new friends and being very social, and im having a good time. But i feel kinda ignored by the male gender.. im not even sure why, because its not like i made an effort and talk to guys that aren't guys in my class.

The only guys that has shown any form of attraction towards me (that i have noticed) are 40-year old men on the street and one of my guy friends. My dilemma is "should i just realise im not attractive enough and move on or build up my self esteem and see how things go".. Im really considering just trying accpet the fact im not hot or cute or whatever and i should stop trying or beliving i can get a boyfriend. But i keep shifting between state of mind, so any advice on how to stick to one mind set?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Could you.. elaborate on why you find yourself unattractive?
    Thing is, most people normally take too harsh a view on themselves. Not everyone can be supermodel hot, but you're probably just fine as it is. Acne will clear up, weight can be lost, teeth can be fixed. Confidence and a positive attitude though, will get you far.

    • well its not a spesific thing about me.. but im mixed in a "white world"... meaning 99,99% of all my friends are or were white, people on my sports team were all white, people in my class are white pretty much everyone that goes to my gym are white... and When all my friend got attention or got approached etc and i didn't, i have always felt like i dont get approach because im not, well, white in a sense. Its not like i dont get approached at all, and i some people tell me i have an "exotic beauty", but i dont see it to be honest. Im not overweight or have any visable "flaws" or anything, but yeah...

    • As morose as my next opinion is going to sound, you're beautiful and you don't know it.
      Don't fret over your mixed "color" too much, it's not a flaw!
      Besides think of it this way, the guy that DOES asks you out will be all the more special because he sees you for who you are.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You will have ups and downs about your appearance. Everyone does. Just focus on what you are accomplishing and about being a good person. Most people will tell you that personality trumps looks by far. And you don't seem to have any mental or physical disabilities. So consider yourself lucky :) you're just fine.

    • But "fine" only gets you so far... if I want to accomplish I need to be more then Just "fine".. i need to be or do good its like being nice, if you want a relationship you need to be more then Just nice...

    • Show All
    • Hm ok I see, I'd say it's your environment that's the main problem. I'm mixed myself with big hips and not too much chest (not a typical white girl figure) and I know if I was surrounded by white people all the time I would start to feel inadequate and like I'm losing my mind. I don't know where you live, but places definitely exist in the U. S. where whites are a minority. If the gym makes you feel bad about yourself, stop going. Certain gyms where I live are so hoity-toity I refuse to go to them bc of the type of girls in them. You can always walk around your neighborhood instead.

    • Well I lift weigh and I enjoy it, and it makes me feel good so im deff not stoping going there..

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • send us a picture i bet your cute


What Girls Said 1

  • I used to be the same way. To be honest guys don't always focus on how you look. They also look at your personality. Even though its important to make sure you look nice (hygiene is important!), you don't have to judge yourself every time you walk in front of a mirror. Take a break from thinking about guys and give yourself some time to learn about yourself. After that you'll start to realize how amazing you are and boys and looks won't matter as much. And if you're really worried about getting a boyfriend the best way to do that is to be confident in who you are. If you feel you're not up to the challenge just wait and your dream guy will end up finding you. Just give it some time.


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