How come so many people lack self control?

Seriously, all you have to do is not do anything at all. On a diet? Don't eat that slice of cake. In a relationship? Don't have sex with someone who isn't your SO. Why is it so difficult for people?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, not all people are blessed with the same amount of self-discipline. Do you eat meat? If yes, why? It's healthier to be vegetarian, plus eating meat is EXTREMELY bad for the environment. Yet, you probably eat it. You might even feel a little bad about it as I do, but you still eat it. Why? Because you like it and because it's hard to deny oneself the pleasure.

    As for having sex with other people than you're SO. While I don't condone cheating (having sex behind your partner's back), I also had to laugh a bit about this part. No offense, but you're a teenager. You might think you already know everything about the world (all teenagers do, including myself when I was one) but you don't. You still have a very limited amount of life and love experience. You don't know what it's like to be with the same person for a very long time. I have been in a relationship with the same person for many years and while I don't cheat on her, I can understand people in my situation who can't fight the urge. Personally, I'm more into an open-relationship type of model but many people are caught in a situation where they've been with the same person for 5 or 10 or even 30 years and they truly, truly love that person but they also want to experience something else sexually speaking. However, they can't do that because monogamy is such a big thing in our society and if their partners are more the jealous or old-fashioned type, they get into the desperate situation where they want to have some fun without somebody else but they also don't want to hurt their love. Result: they resort to cheating.
    You might not be able to understand all this at your age but believe me, you will in 10 or 15 years. If your parents are still married, ask them about it. They will agree with me (even if they don't cheat on each other).

    • I'm a actually a vegan but thanks for the explanation. Maybe my parents raised me in a diffrent environment from everyone else. They've been together for 24 years and they're still going stronger than ever.

    • Show All
    • Know why I eat meat, because it is A) Delicious and Humans are Omnivores, sure we can eat all plants but we lose quite a bit of things we need biologically, we can eat all meat and we die because... coronary.

    • actions on an emotional level. We can also take a rather extreme example: many people who sexually abuse children have, at one point in their own childhood, been sexually abused themselves. Now, obviously this doesn't make it legitimate or okay to rape a child but on an emotional level, we (as society) can at least try to understand them. We can learn from this that it's not always just "bad guy here, victim there" as Hollywood would like to tell us. Often, people are both culprit and victim at the same time. Knowing this helps us to be more social with each other and perhaps even forgive each other certain things. For example if my girlfriend cheated on me, I would most likely be angry with her but I also think that I would probably forgive her. Everyone makes mistakes at some point in his/her life ;-).

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people have things pushing them to do certain things. For example - maybe they want to eat cake because they have a fatty acid deficency or because their brain is telling them to feed it "happy" pills to soothe their own depression.

    Some people have sexual desire which is why they sleep with people they aren't with.

    When you don't have those desires - doing the right thing is easy. It's not a matter of self-control - its a matter of desire - whether you want to do the wrong thing or whether you don't have any desire to do the wrong thing.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree - It shouldn't be that hard

  • O. o

    Was there seriously an attempt made to conflate eating cake with having sex?

    My stomach doesn't impose rules on whether or not I can eat cake - "I" do.

    My SO doesn't impose rules on who I can have sex with - "I" do.

    So, if "I" want to eat cake, that's what I'll do. For as long as I eat in moderation, work out, and am happy and healthy, who cares? The point is to be happy and healthy, not "on a strict diet."

    If "I" want to be happy, and my SO is not making me happy, and having sex with someone else is going to make me happy, then that's what I'm going to do.

    Life is short, and I'm not going to go on my whole life denying myself happiness and being miserable... just so I "don't hurt the other person's feelings."

    It was an admirable 6th grade attempt at emotional manipulation...

    But at the end of the day, it can never be the case that the wolf is 100 years old, yet the pup is 101 years old.

    Been there, used and exhausted that play from the playbook. Nice try, but ultimately unpersuasive.

    • I'm not trying to manipulate people at all. I just want to know why they lack self control. Is it genetics or is is it something else? I was just giving an example by using the cake thing.

What Girls Said 3

  • instant gratification.

  • because its "cool" for some reason to be an absolute animal

  • I guess you are perfect then

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