So. I read somewheres that when you hug someone, if they pat you on the back, it's a body language sign of saying, 'okay, that's enough. Please let me go'. Like 'tapping out'. I can't recall females ever doing this, to me it seems they just go all in with the hug thing, like octopuses.
And, of course, I don't hug many dudes, except with the whole half-dap to arm locked chest bump thing which has a standardized length equalling like a second. But, it got me thinking about this 'cause my father always tries to hug me, then basically immediately starts pounding on my back. Yes. Pounding. And he always initiates the hugs, so I'm like 'if you don't want to, then why do it?'
So, couple questions. 1. Is it a sign of 'lemme go,' or 'that's enough'? 2. Do females do it too? 3. Do you notice when you/other people do it?
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1. Yes and no. It doesn't necessarily mean "let me go". The person who's doing it might still somewhat enjoy the hug but it is usually a sign of awkwardness or that you're kind of uncomfortable.
2. No, I don't think girls do that. I've never ever encountered a woman who did that, neither old, nor young.
3. I never do it because I think it's weird but I do notice when other men do it. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
I should also say that this is partially a cultural thing. I've lived in America and noticed that American guys tend to be extremely awkward with body contact with other men. I'm not quite sure where this comes from and it never really made sense to me because American guys tend to be much more warm-hearted (when you talk to them) than for example the men in my country, who are extremely reserved in general.
It has always seemed to be like American men have this strange obsession to do anything they can to possibly make sure that nobody would ever come on the idea that they might be gay. For example I've always thought this rule of not hugging for 2 or 3 seconds between guys was kinda weird. Or one time I talked to an African American guy in America that I had gotten to know earlier that day while in a public bathroom. I was standing at the mirror, facing him. He was standing at the urinal and peeing. When I kept talking and didn't turn away, he suddenly totally freaked out on my and was like "what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you a faggot or what?" I got so scared that I just left the bathroom and didn't talk to him anymore. Coming from western Europe, it simply didn't appear to me that this might come across as offensive. I mean... it's not like I was standing right next to him and staring at his dick. I guess I saw his penis but I was focusing on his face. It simply didn't cross my mind that he could be thinking that there's a sexual aspect to that.
In my country, we tend to hug less easily then in America (it takes much longer until somebody trusts you enough to hug you) but when we do, we usually feel less awkward about it. I even lightly cuddle with my best guy friend sometimes and it doesn't have any sexual meaning. It's just us expressing our friendship-affection to each other. In countries like Greece, where my dad comes from, men even kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting. So I think what is "okay" and what isn't also has a lot to do with the culture you live in. In America, most guys don't seem to want to touch other guys.1