Plus my boyfriend knows but thinks I've stopped, and homecoming is coming up.
I really need your help.
Most Helpful Guy
As was noted by the other respondents, the best thing you could likely do for yourself is to seek out some form of therapy or counseling (whether that be a paid professional or a school counselor). I am not a psychologist but I gather that generally the desire to harm yourself doesn't come from nowhere but can be based on some type of stress you're feeling or trauma which you've experienced.
If you can't quite force yourself to seek more professional help, you could try to find a friend you trust to share your feelings with. Certainly you might consider telling your boyfriend if you feel he would be understanding and trying to talk out what you are feeling.
If all of that is still to much... I would suggest you try to calmly and rationally analyze your own actions. Why do you think you're cutting? What does cutting give you? Does it actually make you feel better in the long term? Do you feel in some manner you deserve it? And if so, is that feeling a rational one? Perhaps whenever you consider cutting, you might first think about or write down what you are feeling. And if you end up cutting anyway write down how you feel afterwards, and if this is actually a workable solution to whatever issue it is that is driving you towards it. There might well be issues in your life you need to acknowledge and confront and deal with if you would move past this point.
Unfortunately at the end of the day, it might well be a battle which you must fight within yourself. And it could well be that if you would change your actions... you will need to rely upon your own willpower. It might be difficult at first, but it could be said that willpower is a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it will be.1