VERY BAD Insecurity issues?

My entire life I've never felt super terrible about my physical appearance until now. I just want to cover my face up with a mask so nobody has to ever look at it again. I want to believe that I'm pretty. I want to believe that people actually think of me as pretty. And they say they do, but I really don't believe it.
Even with a full face of makeup, I do not feel fulfilled with how I look. I try to tell myself that my physical appearance is not what is most important, but I can't help but feel that in this society, it is.

Lately, all I've been focusing on is the negative and I haven't done that for a very long time. I've almost always focused on the positive. The positive people in my life. That doesn't necessarily mean the people that are kiss-asses and tell me I'm "gorgeous" because I know I'm not. By positive, I mean the people that are there for me when I feel like ****. I can't deal with having such a high level of insecurity. I've always been at least okay with how I looked and now I can barely look in the mirror without thinking about how ugly I am.
My face isn't thin enough
My thighs aren't thin enough
My nose isn't small enough
My lips aren't big enough
My teeth aren't white enough, and straight enough

I swear to you, I have cried. Yes it is that bad.
I have looked in the mirror and cried.
I have looked at a picture where I'm not trying to pose and look good, and I have cried
I have looked at videos of myself, and cried my eyes out because I truly feel that people believe I am ugly. People telling me I'm pretty won't make me any prettier, just like people calling me ugly won't make me any uglier.
Aside from that, I have also been getting negative comments about my physical appearance.
NO, they don't make me uglier, but they do emotionally harm me.
"You're ugly"
"Nice nose!" (Sarcasm)
(et cetera)
And it is SO sad, how shallow I am being right now because I HATE it when people hate the way they look. Now it's me. What the hell am I supposed to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • "I've always been at least okay with how I looked and now I can barely look in the mirror without thinking about how ugly I am."

    Can you pinpoint when did you start feeling/thinking like that? What caused it?
    Did people who you associate with change?

    • I'm not sure EXACTLY what caused it, but I have a few things that might have.
      Wearing makeup: I got so addicted and obsessed with how I looked with a full face of makeup, that now I even hate how I look with makeup
      People online: I've been posting YouTube videos for a few months now, and my channel is really growing! Unfortunately, this rapid growth has also come with a little catch, which is very negative people. Telling me that I am worthless, and that I am ugly. Usually, I would say, "everybody is entitled to their own opinion" and yes, they are! I don't know why their words have suddenly started to bother me.
      Friends: I do not have many friends anymore. Just a lot of acquaintances. (The only real friends that I have will almost never converse with me. They are too busy on their phones) Not having many friends, and anyone real to turn and talk to that will listen and help instead of pretend they're listening has really impacted me negatively. I feel lonely and trapped in my thoughts

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much seriously. This actually helped me more than any advice I got from others, or any lectures from family. :)

    • Aww! Don't mention it, girlie.
      For some reason, you actually made my day.
      I am happy that you feel better now. ^-^

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your still very young, people do blossom with age and change a lot, you will see, time goes by quick and those things that bother you will change

    • That's what everyone tells me and I don't want it to change later. I want it to change now.
      It's also not necessarily that I want a change in my appearance. I want a change in my mindset and attitude.
      I apologize if this came off as rude, I'm just really feeling like absolute shit right now. Not that that's a great excuse. I really appreciate your opinion.

    • Unfortunately things don't just happen right away but maybe if you could try yoga, I heard that's good for mind and body

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