Anyone feel like no good guys like you?

Anyone feel like the only guys that seems to be interested in you are:

-"door matt guys": guys Who dont really have anything to offer, normally unattractive and awkward and tries to compensate with it by buying you stuff. Is kinda fun to begin with, but then you start to get annoyed and board.

- back and forth guys": never consistent about anything basically, they are normally quite attractive, but either they dont know what they want or they aren't serious about you. And it ends after a couple of months or so

-"almost perfect guy": really great guy, not necessarly the hottest guy, but there isn't a spark there. Ends after 1-2 dates.

Im not perfect by any means. . But im getting tired.. :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like your expectations are way too high. You admit that you're not perfect and that's already something good but then... still you seem to hope to find this perfect prince-like guy with who it will click immediately. You claim that "door-matt-guys" (which I find a very offensive/condescending expression) don't have anything to offer. But how would you know if you don't make the effort to ACTUALLY get to know them? And how are you sure that you have a lot to offer? What do you have to offer that they don't have? Your way of dating seems to be highly influenced by this typical consumerist mindset that unfortunately almost all young people have these days. You just kind of half-heartedly try something and if it doesn't work out in the first 2 dates, you throw it in the trash bin (so to speak) because well, there's so many other "products" out there. I find that rather sad. I think the trick about a lot of good guys (and also good girls!) is that you have to invest some energy and time in getting to know them. If you want a quick fix to speak in consumerist terms, just hook up with some bad boy. If you want something serious with a good guy, you have to show him that you really want it. I am very much a good guy myself and I can tell you that I can involuntarily appear quite awkward or even weird to people who get to know me (which is why I don't have a lot of friends) but I also know from the close friends and the girlfriend I have that once you break the ice with me (which might take several months), the relationship is very rewarding. I put a lot of love and care in all my friendships and love-relationships and I'm a very loyal and trustworthy person. I also don't appear awkward anymore once somebody knows me well, it just takes more than 2 meetings to get through the initial awkwardness. I feel like many other good guys might be similar to me.

    • I agree that "door matt" was a bad expression to use, Im sorry. And the thing is that untill now I dont find them attractive.. so it would be rather pointless to get to know them. . When I know im not attracted to them.

      I agree that I have too hight expetations, that is one of my biggest issues. . Bur the more I date the more realistic I get.

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What Guys Said 3

  • well two of the three men you described sound like good men to me. sounds like you're not a very good women. shallow lets just say that.

    • Well if not wanting to date a guy because im not physcially attracted to him makes me shallow, then I guess I am..

    • Not just. That

  • Say what you want about doormats but at least they have stable income and can probably spell "bored" correctly.

  • well the common denominator in all these men is... you. your pride, mindset and standards. noone tires you, you tire yourself.

    • Yeah.. I guess.. but I think my lack of experience gives me unrealistic expectations towards dating.. so I expect a lot and get disapointed a lot

    • well when people seek improvement they should firstly look inside not externally. maybe start with a little self improvement. also finding better companies and places to find guys would help.

    • Dating has been a huge eye opener for me regarding realising things about myself. Im much better now then I was, but I still have a long way to go..

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