Was this a bitchy thing for my friend to say?

I was asking her if my crush's girlfriend was pretty, and she said, 'Don't get mad, sorry, but yeah she kind of is.'

I think she definitely could have said it much more tactfully. Plus she didn't look particularly guilty saying it.

She added that up with, 'It looks like this guy doesn't like you at all.'

Backstory: I am not close to this girl.

I was feeling vulnerable and decided to tell her. It bothered me that people preferred her over me, including this boy. I was concerned if he'd marry her.

That was not a sensitive way to handle the situation or remotely respectful. A good way to encourage a friend is to say, 'You're so much better than him. He's not worth it,' not to blatantly lie but to remind a friend about their good qualities.

I no longer consider this girl my friend.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your friend should be honest with you; she was, and it's not bitchy to try to get you to avoid wasting time on a guy who has no interest in you.

    • She is likely well aware that I would take it to heart. I am attractive in real life as well and am crushing on a guy, if you say his girlfriend is attractive that obviously will affect me in some way.

    • Show All
    • I am, but if I weren't... my goodness that would be an absolutely HORRIBLE way to handle the situation.

    • I would want to know if I am ugly. Then, I would be able to move on and focus other ways to attract women.

Most Helpful Girl

  • u could take this as her being bitchy or her being blunt. it depends on where u think her intentions lie because u know her better than us.

    sometimes friends will give us a bit of painful truth to help us come to our senses, or they can get totally shady for their own reasons, in which case id question the friendship. that's up to u to decide


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • i believe she was just being brutally honest

    • Would you do that to a guy friend of yours?

      Also, I was not yapping away about how gorgeous the guy was and how in love with me he is. I was trusting her as a friend and telling her for some reason I'm really affected by this crush because we were all friends together and they sort of ditched me.

    • i wouldn't have added the 'It looks like this guy doesn't like you at all.' if i was telling them the truth. but i would have still said that the person they are dating is beautiful and end that sentence with a compliment towards you.

      i do think she may have taken some things out of hand guessing that you were madly in love and trying to put you down about your chances. that was just wrong in my eyes. so yeah, she was being a bit bitchy

  • nope it was not


What Girls Said 4

  • Uh, no. She sounds like she's trying to encourage you to get over him. By telling you his girlfriend is attractive and that he isn't interested, she's probably trying to get you to drop it, and move on.
    Which you should definitely do.

    • The girl, though attractive, is hardly a stunner. But I thought she was, genuinely, at the time because I was so into my crush.

      When you like someone and they have a girl that they are dating, and you were all friends before it kind of feels like he picked someone else over you and that starts to formulate in your head unrealistic depictions of the attractiveness of the other girl, regardless of whether or not that fits with reality.

      This happened a few months ago, I should've mentioned that.

  • Nah, she's being brutally honest. It's better to have that kind of friend. Be thankful you have her.

  • Yes its bitchy of her

  • No, it wasn't bitchy. Did you want her to lie and say she is ugly? Reality is that your crush has a girlfriend. You are wasting your time. Yes, you might be just as pretty as she is, maybe prettier, but I doubt that enough for that guy to dump his girlfriend and ask you out.
    Your friend wabts you to be happy with someone, but you are trying to get tge attention of some guy that is taken. Wasn't it bit bitchy to ask your friend if the girlfriend is pretty and then get upset over honest answer?

    • Not when the girl was both mean to me, and also drove a wedge between me and that other guy's friendship.

    • And you sound super desperate. And your update is super bitchy. You are not any better than your friend.