I have grown up around disfigured people and many of them went to their graves having never felt the loving touch of another human being (beyond family and friends). Yes, at times they were bitter (or are bitter, since a few of them are alive). To me it seems almost cruel to tell them, "Well, don't be bitter" or to suggest that if they let a single atom of bitterness show, then they are not good people. Furthermore, one does not need to be disfigured to be unattractive.
Now, I grant you that bitterness aimed at people who have done them no wrong (rejecting someone based on their appearance isn't a wrong) is a bad thing. I also grant you that many people on GAG are too young to be bitter. But I'm talking people who have been alone almost twice as long as the average GAG user has been alive. Is there ANY point at all at which their sadness, disappointment, and anger at their situation is understandable? Any point whatsoever?
For those who say, "Well, bitterness is pointless." I would say you're quite correct. But so is saying "Damnit!" when you put a hammer down on your thumb, yet people understand that it's inevitable to cry out in agony. But for some reason, many GAGers seem rather insensitive and flippant about the emotional pain of others, simply telling them "Don't be bitter," as if it's as easy as writing that sentence. The thought of telling my friend with FAS to simply, "Don't be bitter" strikes me as almost cruel.
Most Helpful Girl
In your example I can see why they are bitter and I sympathise. Because bitterness follows unwanted experiences—failures, disappointment, setbacks—that are perceived to be beyond one's control.
Being bitter because you're a virgin at 17 or because a guy only wanting sex, I'll not empathise with them. Sorry but going to encourage this self pitting and whining. Sometimes by blaming everyone but yourself for your problems will be left unresolved.
Another problem with these "bitter" gag members is that they are usually insulting one group of people. Of course they are going to receive unpleasant responses.
If you have to seek validation for your bitterness then you know you do not have a reason to be bitter. It's almost insulting for those who have had genuine hardships and have become bitter.0
Most Helpful Guy
I was just thinking about this the other day. Yes there should be a point after which people should sympathize with if not at least understand a person's bitterness. But unfortunately they won't do that since they apparently don't want to put up with it because it could bring their own mood down.0