Do I have depression or BPD?

Basically, two years ago, I was diagnosed with major depression, made sense, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, all that. However, now that I've been reading symptoms about it, I'm beginning to think I might have BPD. All of my emotions are extremely intense, for instance, when I'm happy I'm more similar to the manic phase for bipolar people, and can switch moods very swiftly. Like, when I love people, for instance, it is very obsessive, like, the girl I liked most of any in my entire life, I practically worshipped, to the point that I was suicidal for months after I realized she'd never like me. When I'm afraid I'm usually extremely paranoid. And when I'm angry it's almost always either a violent rage, or cold ruthlessness.

Not to mention, I'm extremely obsessed with my appearance. I'll get suicidal if I don't think I'm attractive, to the point that I'll consider disfiguring myself. I also spend a lot of time trying my hardest to look really good. I'm not impulsive with drugs, sex, or alcohol, but, I think that's because I don't have a ready access to any of them, when I do have access I'm very impulsive. I also have major abandonment issues, I think people will leave me to be alone forever, so I frequently cycle through hating and loving my friends. While I don't cut much, when I'm losing it really badly, and don't have my meds, I'll cut myself to calm down. And, my issues ended up killing a lot of my ability to empathize. These days, my constant emotional overload is killing my emotions, almost like I've begun to subconsciously switch my emotions off, especially during stressful situations.

Does it sound like BPD or just extreme depression? For more info, I'm 17, never had a girlfriend, have a good relationship with my parents, but have always faced social isolation from other kids.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly can't say. Self-diagnosis or going to people over the internet is never a good idea. I would talk to your parents and ask to see a doctor or therapist/psychiatrist who could help you. You might have either one of those, but we can't really tell you accurately.

    • The thing is, I can't. I've told my parents I think I have BPD before and, if I did go for another psyche evaluation and did get that diagnoses they'd probably think I made myself get it intentionally. Personally, I feel, while I do have symptoms of depression, depression is often a feature of BPD, which I have even more symptoms of. The only thing missing is impulsitivity with things like sex, drugs, and alcoholic substances, but, like I said, I don't have an access to any of those.

    • Show All
    • I act too. I'm a total drama queen and a good manipulator. Even so, I have actual problems. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital after years of "acting" like I was okay. You just have to get it through their heads. My dad didn't believe me for a long time, but after I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital he started to realize I had an actual problem. I'm not saying at all that you should do that. I was in a really bad place and I needed help when that happened. I didn't do it to get their attention that I wasn't okay. I really just wanted to end it. Don't do anything like that intentionally just to get them to realize you aren't alright. But you have to get through to them that you aren't okay.

    • Well, I started to think I might have BPD when I realized I'm actually too unstable to manipulate people even if I wanted to.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It does sound like you could have BPD , you need medicine specially designed for that then

    • Thing is, I never got a second psyche evaluation, and, after last year, when I told my parents I think I might have BPD and not depression, they said I was maki shit up. If I asked for another evaluation they'd probably just think I'm making my self meet the criteria.

    • Yeah that's true but it would be good to have a second opinion

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What Guys Said 2

  • Mate good work on pin pointing your issues, it does sound like BPD and believe me it can ruin lives of you and loved ones. One way to really help control or even cure BPD is through intense mindfulness otherwise know as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It helps reconnect your logical mind to your emotional mind so that you are able to 'think before feel' in a sense. You'll need to do 2 x 30 min sessions everyday if possible. Do yourself a favour and look up Bruno A Cayoun. He has a book that has audio links. Good luck and stick to it with all your might, it will change you.

  • I am fixing this problem with acid and vodka