Was this a good way to handle the situation?

One of my peers said, "For future advice, if you're put in a group, you should listen to the others, I just wanted to tell you."

While my initial reaction inside my head was who the hell are you to be saying that, I politely said, "I don't think we all know each other well enough for us to be saying that. If you said I've behaved a particular way in this group that's fair, but I don't think it's right to say I'm like that in every group setting."

And after they all conversed I ended with, "I think we all learned something from this."


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it was a very good way to handle the situation.

    You were defensive and confrontational. The response would have created tension, decreased cooperation, and ultimately diminished the effectiveness of the group.

    I think you should have thanked her for the advice and said you would take it into consideration- an offhanded dismissal that would defuse the situation and allow everyone to quickly get back on track.

    • Actually the project was over. And we were about to part ways. Which further adds to the unnecessity of the comment, having already discussed the situation, and future experiences of mine or past ones having no bearing on the project.

      I don't think it was a sincere attempt for her to truly give me constructive feedback. It was more of a way to say something that isn't really her place to say in a somewhat seemingly positive manner.

    • Regardless of when it was said, it was still done in poor taste. Rather then rising above her passive aggressiveness, you joined in and destroyed any chance you may have had at looking like a strong leader- you gave her comment merit.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not quite sure what the situation was that you handled.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Probably better than my reaction which would have been a disinterested "meh, fuck you." lol


What Girls Said 1

  • I think so. It was mature, and you defended yourself without coming off as hostile. What was the reason you were told to not voice yourself, and rather listen?

    • Trying to dominate other people, in her opinion. While I would agree that the situation was so scattered I did jump in and play leader, I wouldn't really insult someone the way she did.

      If the tables were turned, I would say that, 'Look, I just wanted to say something: the way you handled it was not the best. Other people may have made a bigger deal of it, but we didn't, so we would like you to appreciate it.'

      That's when I'd go home thinking the girl had a point.

    • Oh that's understandable, but definitely didn't warrant her response; it was pretty rude. Maybe she is trying to lead the group, or maybe impress someone in the group and doesn't want to seem inferior. But you handled it really well