Do you think I am afraid of males?

I am 22 years old. I never had a boyfriend, I never kiss a guy, I never hold hands with a guy but I hugged guys two times before. I had crushes on guys but they didn't like me back. I never told my crush how I feel. I have male friends but I still can't talk to guys normally. I have been called ugly and a boy by guys before and it hurt a little but I got over it. I am strong. My sisters are beautiful, sometimes I think that my sisters has all the beauty. The guys I liked and my family also think my sisters are beautiful, but I think I am cute even though other people can't see it. My family and my parents' friends will always say that my sisters are beautiful and pretty but they don't say any thing about me, I don't mind now though because I have gotten accustom to it. I don't look good in a dress so I will give my sisters my dresses because they will look better in it, not me. My sisters don't like to hang out with me because they think I am boring.
Whenever I am around my male friends I would behave very rough and tough around them. And I will talk to them like if I was one of the guys. I have female friends also but my female friends don't like to talk to me much or hang out with me a lot. Whenever I first meet a guy, my first thought is his faults and my feelings are nervousness. I would always smile whenever I talk to a guy.
Right now, I do have a male friend who I think is a nice guy. He don't talk to me much or hang out much but when I talk to him I feel like all my worries are nothing. He likes to annoy me, and sometimes I think about wanting him to fail something, but whenever he fails, I want to help him. He is handsome when he smiles. And he is funny. I enjoy being around him, I like seeing him smile, he looks like he believe in his self and it makes me wanting to help him to achieve his dreams, but I can't tell him that because the last time I told a guy that, he stop being my friend.
But I think I have bad luck with guys. Because the two guys I hugged end up stop being my friend and the guy I texted saying I love him, ended up stop being my friend because of it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah I do.

  • having a "boyfriend" ... "first kiss" ... "holding hands"

    and the like are all feminist arrangements. And feminism is bullshit


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