Do I go after a shy guy whose best friend likes/d me?

This guy (I'll call him Zed) who I've been friends with for most of high school has asked me to the movies a couple of times over the years and each time I say "As friends?" because that's all I want.

Around 5 months ago I started liking his friend (Who I'll call Jim). Jim is a quiet guy who caught my bus. He'd never been on a date or kissed anyone.

After a few months of getting to know Jim and getting comfortable around him I asked him to go on a date. I had already talked to Zed about it so it wasn't a shock when he found out (I'd been thinking about asking for a while).

So we went and hung around the river in the city during the evening, talking and chatting. There were quite a few awkward pauses that went on for a while where we just looked at each other and then looked at the scenery and didn't say anything.

And then I kissed him. It probably took him by surprise because he's never been kissed before. I did doing the whole looking up at him, biting my lips and smiling a little bit. And he did ask if it was a kissing thing, which I probably shouldn't have laughed at... But with the kiss, it was a little awkward...

Anyway I thought the date went great and all but when we went back to school I tried making conversation and they didn't last too long. And then like 5 days later I get a text asking if we can just "stay friends" because "it's complicated" and he "kinda likes someone else"; which broke me. I really thought he liked me and most of the people around me were telling me the same thing.

So one and a half months passed of not talking. School was getting heavy because it was my last year and exams. And then at the formal (prom?) I find out the chick he likes is a girl who's been dating a guy for at least a year and that Zed still likes me heaps...

Now school has finished and I probably won't see them again. Jim lives around the corner from me, and I want to talk to him because he makes me happy, but I don't want him to freak out.

What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Do what your heart tells you to do. If it means talking to Jim because he makes you feel happy, then by all means. You can't be blamed for pursuing happiness.

    • Should I go to his house and talk to him or message him online?

    • Go to his house. Messaging him only means that there's a chance he might never respond even.

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